


Lifeus Exitus

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Character Death(s), Drug Exchange, Drug Use, Fluff, Forest Sex, Frottage, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kinks, M/M, Murder, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Riding, Rimming, Sexting, Subspace, Unsafe Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:43:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1974585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is part of an Anti-Drug Cartel Association that is in charge of executing cartel members. Harry finds that murder comes with a lot of surprises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First story I've ever written, so sorry about the horribly written smut and bad grammar.

 

 

Harry wakes up in the middle of the night to a call from Zayn. His phone is buzzing, too loud for his liking. He could ignore it and go right back to sleep. But the continuous calling makes Harry want to chop his ears off. He grabs the phone from the drawer and presses the green button on the screen.

“What do you want? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Aaron, he’s near your house. He's unarmed and apparently drugged. You need to go after him. This is the only chance.” Zayn sounds too awake it makes Harry wonder if he even sleeps.

“Now? Seriously we can figure this out later Zayn _please_.” Harry really doesn’t want to get up for this.

“Harry are you even listening? Aaron, the fucking leader of the drug cartel is right on target and you’re refusing to get him?!” Zayn’s voice is loud and terrifying to say the least. Harry gets up from the bed and mumbles something not even he himself understands.

“Alright fine. Do I need my gun? How should I kill him?” Harry walks towards his closet and slips on his favorite pea coat. It’s the middle of December so it’s obviously cold outside.

“Any way you’d like Harry but be quick. This man is the one we _need_ to execute. It’s very impor-”

“Yeah yeah. Hide my tracks, don’t get caught. I get it Zayn. You make it seem like I’ve never done this before. I’ll call you when it’s over with.” Harry cuts him off and hangs up the phone.

When Harry gets inside his car, he drives around in the dark looking for Aaron. He knows what Aaron looks like. Tall, dark haired with broad shoulders. He knows him all too well.

Harry first met Aaron when the cartel had one of Harry’s mates held hostage, Liam, five months ago. Harry remembers killing 2 security guards that refused to let him speak with Aaron. Once Harry got into the building, he found a room where he saw Liam bound to a chair, his screams and pleads muffled by a cloth stuffed into his mouth. Harry immediately freed Liam and as he ran out through the door he came from, he stood in front of Aaron. Harry knew it had to be him. Aaron had an evil look in his eyes and if Harry had to admit it, he was scared.

“You’ll face the consequences sooner or later.” Aaron had said. Harry was too unfocused to take the words into consideration and all he wanted was to get Liam out of the place. So he pushed Aaron onto the ground and left as soon as possible.

Of course, when he arrived back to headquarters Zayn was shocked to hear that Harry had even touched Aaron. Zayn knew that Aaron would be more than pissed and take revenge any way possible and everything Zayn knew was always accurate. Zayn, being the leader of the anti-cartel association, is very wise. But Harry is too, after working in the association for almost 3 years he knows what’s dangerous and what isn’t.

He drives for a couple of minutes until he spots someone standing near a tree in an abandoned park. He gets closer and realizes that it’s Aaron. This is it. This is his chance to get rid of this asshole once and for all. He grabs his gun and stuffs it in his coat pocket. He takes a look around and it seems vacant. No one else in sight. This is perfect, he thinks.

Harry’s heart is racing as he gets out of the car and walks towards Aaron. Even though he’s done this before, murder, he still feels nervous. Maybe it’s the fact that this is the leader, he should be fucking scared. What makes no sense to Harry is why the leader is unarmed and _alone_?

“Hey.” Harry says calmly as he stands in front of him. “Remember me?”

Aaron looks up at Harry with dilated pupils; he smells an awful lot like weed. Zayn was right, he’s all drugged up.

Aaron lets out a choked laugh. “Y-you… you pushed me.” He sounds completely mental.

“Yeah, and you.” Harry points a finger at him. “Tried to kill my friend. So we’re _almost_  even.” Harry says pulling out his gun and pointing it at his head.

“What? You’re gonna kill me? Do it! It’s not like I have anything to live for! He said… h-he didn’t love me _anymore_.” Harry has absolutely no idea what this man means or who this ‘he’ is. Harry thinks it might be the drugs taking over Aaron’s brain.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Harry says before stepping back to avoid any blood stains on his clothing and pulls the trigger. The loud gun shot echoes throughout the park it almost scares Harry. As he sees Aaron’s lifeless and bloody body collapse to the ground, he rapidly runs to his car and drives back home.

When he arrives to his house, more awake than he was when he was last inside, he calls Zayn and tells him he has it all under control, leaving out the part where Aaron mentioned a guy. Zayn screams, _literally_  screams in triumph. He tells Harry how proud he is and everything Harry doesn’t need to hear. It’s his job; this is something Harry does for a fucking _living_. He doesn’t need praise, he thinks.

And with that, Harry puts away his gun in the safe box, takes off his coat and goes back to bed.

Who knows who else he’ll have to murder in the near future.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Harry wasn’t slightly shocked to hear about Aaron’s murder all over the news, he was glad that the police had no clue or idea as to who did it. He felt a rush of relief.

Each time Harry hears about murders _he_ commits on the news, he can’t help but feel a bit guilty. Sure, murdering for whatever reason is wrong but he _does_ murders the bad guys. So, that doesn’t make _him_ entirely a bad guy. Right?

 

The following week seemed to pass like a blur. Harry shows up at headquarters every other day for updates but it seems that there isn’t any. The only news he hears from Zayn is that after Aaron’s death, the cartel had been struggling on choosing a new powerful and trustworthy leader. Harry knows it’s a careful process. The cartel needs someone they can trust, someone who won’t backstab them for the money or drugs. They also need someone who’s intimidating and most importantly, _dominant_.

 

One night after a week of anticipation, Harry and Zayn decide to go out for drinks. They needed it (mostly Harry) and Zayn thought it’d be a great way to celebrate Harry’s triumph. Harry invited Liam along too, knowing full well that Zayn has the biggest crush on Liam. If you ask Harry, Zayn’s pretty much in love with Liam and has been since Zayn met him over a year ago at Harry’s birthday party. Of course, Zayn will deny any sort of accusation involving Liam.

Once they arrive at a club near Harry’s house, Harry makes it straight away to the bar. There’s something inside Harry that needs alcohol flowing in his veins. So he waves over the bartender, who looks way too young to be working at a place like this but it’s none of his business anyway, and asks for beer.

The vibe in the club is heavy. Everyone is loud and the music is even louder, Harry can feel the bass beating hard against his chest. The club is filled with flashing lights that could possibly blind someone and a color-changing dance floor. Harry turns in his seat with his beer on one hand and takes a look around. He spots Zayn and Liam sitting at a table and its obvious Zayn is wearing his ‘sexy’ face. Harry laughs at the sight.

His attention turns back to the bar. He immediately spots a stunning looking man, who looks around Harry’s age, by the edge. He looks tired, Harry thinks. Although Harry isn’t really here to chat someone up, there’s something about this man that’s almost intoxicating. Something Harry can’t quite catch. With that in mind, he makes his way over to the empty seat beside him and the man looks almost surprised when Harry speaks.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Typical thing to say, but it’s better than any cheesy pick up line he could’ve thought of.  

The man gives a small smile and nods. Harry calls up the probably underage waiter and looks at the man for a response.

“I’ll have a Long Island Iced Tea.” The man says and gives the bartender a wink. So he’s a drinker, then. Harry can work with that.

“So… what’s your name?” Harry asks hesitantly.

“Louis. Yours? Thanks for the drink by the way.” He sounds embarrassed. Harry can’t help but smile at how soft and soothing his voice sounds as oppose to Harry’s, husky and deep.

“Oh no problem. I offered didn’t I? My name’s Harry.” Just as he finishes his sentence, the bartender comes back with Louis’ drink and a light shade of pink on his cheeks. Louis takes a sip from his drink and Harry notices the way his cheeks hollow beautifully. Now that Harry has a better look at him, he can perfectly make out his features.

Louis is gorgeous – his tanned skin, his jaw is beautifully defined, his caramel colored hair is styled flawlessly into a fringe. Harry notices how fucking blue his eyes are, he can even make out the light stubble. Harry would love to feel his stubble in between his legs while he’s ge-

“Earth to Harry?” Louis interrupts his thoughts.

Harry blinks. Once he realizes that he’s been staring at Louis, he clears his throat and raises his eyebrows in attention. “Sorry. I spaced out. What was it you were saying?”

“What brings you here?” Louis bites his bottom lip.  

“It’s just that work has had me busy lately. I thought I’d stop by with my mates for a drink.” Speaking of his mates, where the fuck are Liam and Zayn?  Most importantly, why is Harry thinking about his friends while he has this beautiful man in front of him?

“Ah, difficult job?” Louis takes a long sip from his drink. Harry snorts in response.

“Guess you can say that.” The way Louis is looking at Harry is burning his insides. Louis has this _look_ , something the way an animal would have when it’s hungry. That’s it. He has a _hungry_ look. Fuck, Harry isn’t drunk enough for this. He calls up the bartender again and orders a shot.

Before Harry realizes it, Louis reaches his hand out to touch the headscarf on Harry’s head. “What is this?” He asks amused.

“A headscarf, I thought they looked cool, plus I don’t have to spend time on my hair so.” He trails off.

“It’s sexy.” Louis says with a smug look as he pulls his hand off. _Louis_. Fuck, who even is Louis? And why is the bartender taking forever with his shot?

As if he read his mind, the bartender serves Harry his shot _thank god_ and takes it down quickly, feeling the burn in his throat.

Suddenly, Louis is so close to Harry he can feel the warmth come off him. He can also feel Louis’ soft lips by his ear.

“Dance with me.” He whispers coolly it sends shivers down Harry’s spine. He nods as Louis wraps an arm around his waist almost possessively. Harry quickly takes out his wallet and leaves a 20 on the counter for the bartender. Louis gives him a crinkled-eye smile.

They push their way around the dancing sweaty bodies with Louis’ hand still around his waist. Harry turns so that his ass is against Louis’ crotch and begins to grind against him to the beat of the song. Louis takes hold of Harry’s hips with both his hands. They both dance to the beat, hips moving in sync until Louis gets tired of not being able to see Harry.

“Turn around.” Louis says in his ear and Harry spins to face him. Louis wraps both his arms around his neck while Harry grabs Louis’ waist pulling him closer. Harry can feel Louis hard against his thigh, _he’s_ been half hard himself since Louis said his headscarf was sexy. It’s pathetic, he thinks.

Harry looks down at Louis, whose eyes are blown wide with lust. Louis looks beautiful like this. He has a layer of sweat forming on his forehead and he just looks so _tempting_. Before Harry can properly think, he crashes his lips against Louis’, savoring every move. Louis thankfully kisses him back, their lips moving in rhythmically. A groan escapes from Harry’s lips as Louis sneaks in his tongue, and Harry can literally _taste_ him.

Louis pulls back to speak. “Let’s get out of here.” Louis says breathlessly resting his forehead against Harry’s. He grabs Louis’ wrist and pulls him out of the crowd, making their way out of the bar.  

“Your place or mine?” Harry asks calling over a taxi.

“Yours.” He gives him a small peck on the lips.

They get into the taxi and Louis immediately gets on Harry’s lap and kisses him deeply. He goes from his jaw down to his neck, he unbuttons the top buttons of his shirt leaving pecks on his chest. Somewhere Harry can faintly hear the taxi driver asks for directions. Harry answers, giggling through the words as Louis tickles his sides, kissing his neck.

The minute they get inside Harry’s house, they waste no time in taking off their clothes and soon enough Harry is laid out on his bed naked waiting for Louis to make his next move.

Louis props himself on Harry’s thighs taking both of their cocks in one hand. He gives slow tugs, until Harry grows impatient, desperate for more friction.

“Fuck Lou. ‘M not gonna last.” Harry moans into Louis’ mouth. As if Harry’s words are encouragement, Louis picks up his pace, jerking them both off quicker making Harry buck his hips up against Louis.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Harry groans as Louis sucks a visible bruise onto his neck. After a few more tugs, Harry comes with a sharp shutter, spilling all over Louis’ wrist, Louis following soon after.

Louis rests his forehead against Harry’s chest and lets out a breathless laugh trying to regain his breath. He gets up and goes into Harry’s bathroom, taking out a wet cloth to wipe the drying come off Harry’s stomach.

“A butterfly?” Louis asks as he traces the wing with his finger.

“Yeah, sexy isn’t it?” Harry winks.

“There’s nothing sexy about a butterfly.” Louis teases as he tosses the cloth on the ground. He awkwardly stops his tracks and picks up his clothing from the ground.

“Stay.” Harry tells him mindlessly. “Please? I promise to make you breakfast tomorrow morning.” He offers honestly.

Louis lets out a laugh as he slips back into bed with Harry. “I don’t know… it sounds tempting.” He says poking Harry’s dimple. “I’ll take your offer then, Curly.” Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ waist, kissing his forehead.

“Good night.” Harry whispers about a minute later but gets no response. He opens his eyes and sees Louis sleeping soundly, his chest rising and falling with every breath. Harry smiles and holds Louis closer.

Harry really wasn’t expecting to fall asleep with this beautiful boy in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Harry opens his eyes to the sight of Louis, still asleep. The sunlight peeking from his window reflected on Louis’ bare chest beautifully, he looks almost _angelic_. For a brief moment Harry had almost forgotten how this gorgeous boy ended in his bed.

He remembers spotting him at the bar, with a slight empty expression on his face. He remembers buying him a drink and ending up on the dance floor with him. He remembers being the first one to come and he _definitely_ remembers promising Louis breakfast in the morning. Right, breakfast.

Harry slowly gets up from his bed, careful not to wake Louis. Thankfully, Louis doesn’t seem to take notice of Harry’s absence so he heads down to the bathroom and throws on a pair of grey sweats before going into the kitchen.

He fry’s some eggs and bacon, and serves it on two plates along with some French toast. Not bad, he thinks. By the time he’s placing the food on the table; sleeping beauty comes out of the room, in just a pair of black boxers, and fringe a mess.

 “Good morning.” Harry smiles as he takes a seat. Louis gives a sleepy smile in response, and takes the seat in front of Harry.

“Good morning to you too, Curly. I see you kept your word.” Louis says staring down at his plate in awe. Harry breaks into a smile at the sight of Louis, who looks absolutely flawless in the morning.

“Didn’t think I would _lie_ to you, did you?” Harry says with a smirk, picking at his eggs with a fork before taking it in his mouth.

“Well Harold, I don’t really know much about you now do I? For all I know you could be a serial killer!” Louis jokes, taking a bite from the French toast. Serial killer. _Ha._

Harry stays quiet, unsure of how to answer that. Harry isn’t a serial killer; at least he doesn’t _think_ so. He doesn’t go around murdering people just for the fuck of it. He has _reasons_. It’s his _job._ Or side job. Whatever the fuck it is.

“Speaking of which.” Louis continues. “Tell me, what’s your story?”

“My story?” Harry asks dumbly.

“Yeah, like… what brings you to London? Or were you born here? Simple stuff. You don’t need to get into detail.” Louis smiles in assurance.

Harry takes a deep breath. “I wasn’t born here actually. I’m from Homes Chapel. I moved here when I was 18, I couldn’t stand being with my stepdad, he was an asshole. I didn’t go to Uni, figured it was just a waste of time. But I met a friend here, who does tattoos, his names Ed. He got me a job at the tattoo parlor; apparently I had the ‘talent.’ I still work there on weekends. I met another friend about a year later, Zayn. He’s pretty – different I guess you can say.” Harry laughs quietly, and looks up at Louis who seems to be quite attentive to what Harry is saying.

“So far, these past 24 years have been quite a rollercoaster. But I like my life. I don’t think I’d change it for anything.” He adds.

“Do you have a last name?” Louis asks taking a drink from his juice.

“Styles.”

“Harry Styles. You sound like a fucking porn star.” Louis jokes. Harry lets out an embarrassingly loud laugh; he has to clasp a hand over his mouth.

“Shut up. I bet yours is _far_ worse.”

“Tomlinson.” He says proudly.

“Louis Tomlinson. Mm, sorry. It sounds too _boring._ ” Harry teases.

“Well I can assure you that I’m _far_ from boring.” Louis winks. There he goes again; doing that _thing_ that drives Harry nuts, making him feel like a hormonal teenager.

“Fine. Prove it to me then. Tell me about you. I told you a bit about myself, it would only be fair.” Harry says, throwing his hands behind his head and crossing his ankles to prove a point.

Louis rolls his eyes fondly before speaking. “Well, I’m not from London either. I was born in Doncaster, grew up with 4 girls and my mum. My dad was never around and I honestly didn’t give two fucks. As a teenager, I was always the one to cause trouble. When I was 16, I moved to London. It was the worst decision of my life, I was homesick for almost a year but I didn’t dare to move back.” Louis sighs sadly.

“Why didn’t you?” Harry asks curiously, sitting up in his chair.

“After I told my mum I was gay, she started treating me differently. She would always find an excuse to yell at me. She also didn’t care about my well-being. I could be out in the streets in the late hours of the night and she wouldn’t care where I was or what I was doing. After months of putting up with her constant nagging, I left. I had a friend here, Niall, and I moved in with him. I switched jobs over the years, never could find a proper one. I lived like that up until I was 23, when I met someone, he was loaded. But I mean _loaded._ He offered me to move in with him so I did. We were together for a while; I really did care about him. But the last couple months weren’t the same.”

“Why?” Harry asks, voice filled with wonder.

“He became aggressive. I always knew he did drugs, but he started using them daily. When he would come home from work angry, he would try to beat me. I didn’t let him, of course, I knew better than that.” Harry’s stomach turns. The thought of having someone even _try_ to lay a hand on Louis set something in him. Almost like having the urge to _kill_ him.

“I eventually told him I didn’t love him anymore, which was the truth. He went apeshit.” Louis chokes out a sad laugh.

“Then what happened?” Harry isn’t sure why but for some reason feels protective over Louis all of a sudden. It’s stupid, he thinks.

“He died.” He shrugs. “I mean, I saw it coming honestly. Of course I was sad but it’s not like I was going mourn forever.” He says truthfully.

Well. Harry did not see that one coming.

“Wow, I’m not sure what to say about that.” Harry lets out a small, shy laugh.

“See, told you I wasn’t boring.” Louis says with a hint of flirtation in his voice. “What time is it?” Louis asks casually.

Harry looks at the clock on his wall. 9:42 it reads.

“It’s almost 10.” He replies.

“Shit.” Louis says immediately rising from the table and heading into Harry’s bedroom. Harry, confused, takes both plates and leaves them in the sink. He quickly goes into his living room and rips off a paper from an old notebook, grabs a pen and writes down his number.

Louis emerges from his room seconds after, fully clothed. “I hate to do this but I have somewhere to be. Um... Can I like-” Harry cuts him off by handing him out the paper.

“It’s my number. I kind of want to see you again?” He says almost as if he’s asking a question.

“Kind of? Harold, I expected an ‘I _really_ want to see you again.’ Kind of?” He repeats taking the paper. “That doesn’t really do it for me.”

That teasing little shit.

Harry fondly shoves his arm before breaking into a smile.

“Alright, I’ll text you.” Louis smiles before heading towards the door and stopping when his hand reaches the knob. He turns around and gives Harry an unexpected peck on the cheek and leaves. It’s not much but it still leaves Harry blushing furiously.

 

The rest of the day goes on smoothly, up until Zayn gives him an unexpected call.

“What it is Zayn?” He asks.

“The cartel found a new leader, his name is William.” Zayn says quietly.

“Alright, we knew they were going to find a new leader anyway I don’t get what the big deal is?”

“I hear he’s really dangerous Harry. He’s completely ruthless. Far worse than Aaron was. You better be careful.” He warns.

“I’m not sure why you’re telling m-”

“He’s determined to find the one responsible for Aaron’s death and kill him. Harry, he’s looking for _you_.”

 

Now he’s _definitely_ fucked.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry is frantically pacing around in his house like a mad man.

“So this _William_ guy? He wants to kill me?” Harry asks slowly.

“He doesn’t know it’s you, though. The only way he’ll find out is if he gets one of our guys and threatens them to spill the truth.” Zayn states. This cannot be happening, Harry thinks.

“Fuck Zayn. What the hell am I supposed to do now? What if he finds out it’s me? I’ll end up in a fucking body bag.” Harry spits.

“Calm down Harry, please. We’ll figure this out.” Zayn sighs. “Just promise me you’ll be careful yeah?”

Harry takes a seat in his couch before taking a deep breath. He needs to relax. He also needs to listen to Zayn. “Alright fine. I trust you. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Take care.” And Zayn clicks.

“Fuck!” Harry yells loudly, which echoes throughout the room.

What if William finds out it was Harry? What if in the next couple of days Harry really _does_ end up in a body bag and buried 6 feet underground? He can’t let this happen, he thinks. He needs to get rid of William before it’s the other way around. First, he needs to find out who this William is.

 

\---

 

The next few days are hell. Harry can’t sleep; as much as he tries to he just simply can’t get himself to shut down his mind. The thought of getting killed is haunting him.

_Will it hurt?_

_Will anyone even miss me?_

Just as Harry is about to close his eyes for the millionth time, his phone flashes. He grabs it from the drawer by his bed. Louis, Harry thinks. He opens the text, and smiles as he reads it.

**_L: Hey it’s Louis! It just occurred to me that I didn’t even thank you for breakfast. So, thank you… if it’s not too late x (even though it’s been 3 days)_ **

Another texts chimes in.

**_L: Also, you’re probably asleep by now so sorry if I disturbed you !_ **

Harry decides to reply to him, it’s not like he was going to fall asleep anytime soon anyway.

**_H: Hey Louis. No, I wasn’t asleep. I’m actually glad you texted me. Had trouble sleeping x_ **

Harry’s finger grazes over the send button before he clicks it. It’s about 2 minutes later (not that he’s been counting) that Louis’ response comes in.

**_L: Insomniac? Well if you need any help falling asleep I’ll be glad to help ;)_ **

The winky face. Is he suggesting something? Harry isn’t sure, but the idea of Louis suggesting something sexual sends a feeling straight to his groin. Fuck.

It only occurs to Harry that he almost forgot to reply when another texts comes in.

**_L: Don’t worry! It’s not that hard, I can simply just call you and read you a bedtime story boring enough to put you straight to sleep._ **

Harry thinks about it for a moment, before typing in his response.

 ** _H:_** **_That’s not hard, but something else might be? ;)_**

Harry can’t believe he’s doing this. He feels like a horny teen. The response he gets is almost immediate.

**_L: You’re hard? Are you touching yourself?_ **

Harry didn’t think about it. He’s half hard but not enough to make him want to touch himself.

**_H: Maybe… why? Are you?_ **

Harry slips his hand down and palms himself through his boxers. He closes his eyes and clutches his phone with the other.

**_L: Of course, I’m so hard right now. Thinking about how good you’ll look with my cock deep in your ass._ **

That’s enough to send Harry having the orgasm of his life. Somehow he doesn’t though. He pulls his boxers down to his knees, cock lightly slapping against his stomach.

**_H: I’d love that so much; wanna feel so full of your cock._ **

Harry grabs the base of his cock, slowly stroking himself dry. He lets out a soft grunt before getting another text.

**_L: I’ll fuck you so good and hard you’ll be a complete mess. Crying and begging for me to come inside you._ **

Harry let’s out a full moan at that, his strokes becoming faster. He rubs the head of his cock with his thumb, slick with precome.

**_L: I’ll come so deep inside you, you’ll be dripping for days._ **

And _that_ sets Harry off. After two strokes, Harry is moaning Louis’ name loudly, spurting come all over his butterfly tattoo.

Harry is breathing harshly, drips of sweat forming on his forehead. Fuck Louis, Harry thinks. He takes a moment, waiting for his breath to even out before sending out a text.

**_H: Thank you, now I’ve made a mess x_ **

Harry can’t help but smile, this is all so strange to him but somehow it feels _right_.

Harry gets up from his bed, boxers slipping off completely by now, and runs to the restroom grabbing the closest towel to wipe the come off his stomach. This is so pathetic, Harry thinks.

Once he slips on a fresh pair of sweats and stumbles back to bed, he’s received two texts from Louis.

**_L: Same here actually ;) x_ **

**_L: Well Curly, nice chat. Hopefully we can actually make it happen soon. Good night xx_ **

Louis is going to be the fucking death of him.

 

The next morning, Harry heads down to the tattoo parlor. There’s a few people when he goes in, he spots Ed doing a wrist tattoo of what seems like a bow.

“Hey mate! What brings you here? It’s Friday.” Ed says taking a short glance at Harry and focusing back down to the tattoo.

 _Oh you know. I might die soon so just wanted to drop by and say my goodbyes just in case_ , Harry thinks.

“I had nothing else to do today. Thought it’d be a good idea to stop by.” Harry lies. Ed gives him a skeptical look.

“Listen… today’s gonna be a busy day. So I don’t think I have much time to sit and chat with you. Sorry mate. But you’re welcomed to stay if you’d like.” Ed smiles.

“It’s alright; I’ll go bother someone else. See you tomorrow!” Harry gives him a weak wave before exiting the shop.

When Harry gets in his car, he takes out his phone going over his contact list. He wants to call Louis; it’s been 3 days since he last saw him. After last night’s conversation (or whatever it was), Harry’s been almost _craving_ him. The need to feel Louis against him, feeling him close, is inevitable.

He clicks on Louis’ name and hesitantly calls him. After the third ring, which is a lot to Harry, he finally picks up.

“Hey Curly, missed me so soon?” Harry can practically hear his smirk.

“Actually I did. I was wondering if you wanted to come over today.” He asks quietly, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Sure, if it involves seeing your beautiful face I’m all for it.” Harry blushes, he’s thankful that Louis isn’t here to witness his schoolgirl-like reactions.

“So my place at 8?”

“Sounds like a plan. See you later.” Louis says before clicking.

 

Later comes about 5 hours later, having Harry checking the time every five minutes. He cleaned up his house (especially his room), cooked dinner, and even dressed. Although it isn’t actually a date, or at least he doesn’t so, he still wants to make a good impression.

So when Louis knocks at his door, he swiftly gets up to answer it, coming face to face with one and only, Louis Tomlinson.

“Hi.” Harry speaks.

“Hi yourself.” Louis replies with a laugh. Harry takes notice of the bottle in Louis’ hand.

“Oh, I bought wine. Thought it’d be a good idea?” He says as if he’s asking a question.

Harry grins, motioning for Louis to come inside, and then makes his way into the dining room with Louis following behind.

Louis gasps staggeringly at the sight. The dining room is lit dimly, candles shining brightly at the table, resembling a fancy restaurant.

“Harry.” Is all Louis can form. Harry turns to look at him, and breaks into a dimpled smile. He feels proud, almost as if he’s achieved something.

Harry walks towards the table pulling a chair, beckoning Louis to sit. He takes the bottle from Louis’ hand leaving in it on the counter, and takes the seat in front of Louis.

“Such a gentleman. I like you.” Louis says, eyes twinkling.

“Thanks, I like me too.” Harry teases earning a soft kick from Louis under the table.

“Harry this smells incredible, did you make it?” Louis asks curiously.

“Of course. It’s Fettuccine Alfredo, nothing fancy but still good.” Harry smiles.  “Shall we?” he says taking a fork and holding it up.

“We shall.” Louis joins.

They eat in comfortable silence, occasionally stealing flirty glances at each other that leave Harry’s cheeks burning. Once they finish, Harry takes both their plates into the sink, guiding Louis to the living room.  

“The food was delicious Harry. Thank you.” Louis says putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry blushes, smiling lightly.

“We should drink the wine. Wouldn’t want that to go to waste.” Harry says, going back into the kitchen to fetch two glasses.

Once he opens the wine, he gives Louis a glass filling it halfway and pouring one for himself.

“So tell me Curly, why couldn’t you sleep?” Louis says taking a drink. For a moment, Harry has absolutely no idea what he means but then remembers mentioning to Louis briefly that he had trouble sleeping.

“Just had a lot on my mind I guess.” Harry replies, voice suddenly small.

Louis watches Harry, sitting back in the couch with legs crossed. “Hope I helped in some way.” Louis winks.

Harry feels hot all over. Louis is looking at him, the same way he was looking at him at the bar. The same _look_ of lust and want. It’s so much for Harry he rises from his seat and crashes his lips against Louis, straddling his thighs.

Louis tastes delicious. His tongue feeling warm and wet inside his mouth, every touch burning his skin. Louis’ hands slip under Harry’s shirt, sliding up to his nipple giving it an experimental pinch. Harry lets out a moan, muffled by Louis’ neck.

“’M sensitive.” Harry mumbles earning a devilish smirk from Louis.

“Sensitive nipples babe? I think we can work with that.” Louis says voice suddenly lower than before. “Come on; let’s go to your room.”

Harry and Louis both make their way into Harry’s bedroom, without keeping their hands off each other. Louis unbuttons Harry’s shirt, and pushes him onto the bed. He straddles his thighs, kissing all over his neck down to his torso. Louis’ fumbles with Harry’s jeans, slowly and painfully pulling his zipper down, leaving small kisses on his happy trail.

“Lou, please.” Harry begs, sounding wrecked.

“Please what babe?” Louis coos as he pulls Harry’s tight jeans down.

“Want your mouth. Want it so bad.” He moans, biting down on his bottom lip. Louis hums in approval, eyeing Harry’s obvious bulge through his underwear. He hovers over Harry’s clothed cock so closely; Harry can feel his hot breath. Louis digs his fingers under the waistband of Harry’s underwear, pulling them down enough to free Harry’s cock.

“You have such a pretty cock Harry. So big and hard for me.” Louis says, causing Harry to mewl. Louis pokes out his tongue, giving it kitten licks.

“Don’t tease please. Been waiting all day.” Harry moans. Louis obliges, taking the head of Harry’s cock in his mouth, tongue swirling over the slit. Harry buries his hands in Louis’ hair, caressing it softly.

“Fuck yes. Mm.” Harry groans loudly. Louis pulls off for short moment, before taking Harry back in his mouth, deep. He bobs his head, making obscene slurping sounds, loud in the quiet room. Harry jerks his hips up, making Louis take him deeper, before Louis pins Harry’s hips into the mattress with his hands.

“I’m close Lou. Oh god.” Louis dips down further, feeling Harry’s cock hit the back of his throat. Louis feels his eyes start to water, his gag reflex faintly kicking in.

“Louis fuck, I’m gonna come.” Harry warns but Louis does nothing to pull off. Harry looks down at Louis, cheeks hollows and shiny eyes. Louis looks fucking _sinful._ The sight sends Harry over the edge, coming hot down Louis’ throat.

“Shit.” Harry whimpers breathlessly. Louis swallows completely, pulling off with a loud pop. He climbs over Harry, kissing him hard, like he’s deprived.

“Lou, what about you?” Harry whispers, breaking the kiss.

“I think I’m taken care of.” Louis laughs. Harry looks down at Louis’ crotch, noticing a wet patch.

“Oh my god. Fuck. You got off to getting _me_ off? You are something else.” Harry smiles before kissing him again.

After a few more minutes of kissing, they finally get tired. Louis lifts himself off of Harry, checking the time on his phone.

“I’ve got to go. Thanks for everything today.” Louis says tiredly.

“Stay?” Harry pleads, pouting like a five year old asking for candy.

“I’m sorry Harold, I can’t. But if I could, I would. You know.” Louis says, kissing Harry once more.

“Fine, let me at least walk you out.”

They both walk out to the car, parked in front of Harry’s house. Louis fumbles with his keys for a moment before looking up at Harry.

“Do you consider this a date?” Louis blurts out.

Harry stares at him for a moment, unsure if his answer might ruin any chances of seeing Louis again.

“It depends. Do you?” He asks.

“Harry Styles. You made dinner for me, candles and everything. Of course I considered it a date.” Louis smiles.

“Well then it was.” He says, dimples showing. Louis plants a chaste kiss on Harry’s cheek, before getting into the passenger seat of his car and driving away.

 

 

 

It’s Christmas Eve and for some reason it seems peculiar. Harry doesn’t know what it is, but something tells him it’s not right. He calls Zayn, who doesn’t pick up. He must be busy, Harry thinks.

Harry didn’t really plan on doing anything Christmas Eve, but then again he never really does. Usually he just buys a couple beers with Zayn, smoking enough pot until they can’t tell their left from right. They do buy each other gifts, but never make a huge deal about it.

Before going to work, Harry stops by at Liam’s hoping to drop off his present. He knocks at his door but receives no answer. Harry remembers Liam mentioning something about having a spare key on his door mat. He reaches down, lifting the mat and finding the key on the ground.

When he gets inside, everything is quiet. The lights are turned off, not a single sound. For a moment, he thinks Liam might’ve gone home for the holidays but realizes Liam never mentioned going anywhere. Just as Harry is about to leave, something in Liam’s bedroom catches his eye. He walks into the room and his blood goes cold.

“Oh my god.” Harry chokes.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Harry stares blankly at the bright yellow police line tapped all around Liam’s house. He feels like the air has been sucked out of him. He watches silently as they take Liam’s body in a bag. He sees the police walking in and out of the house, watches them take bits of pieces they claim as “evidence” and “clues.”

The air is heavy, and Harry wants to get out of this place. It’s just a constant reminder that _he might be next_. He wonders how Zayn will react to the news.

“Excuse me sir, are you alright? You look a bit pale.” A detective asks him. Harry looks up at him with tired eyes, he opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. It’s as if he can’t even form words.

“Well, we’re going to need you to come with us to the station. We need to ask you some questions.” The detective says before walking out the door. Harry follows behind, with wobbly legs.

“Do you mind if I get in with you? I don’t think I’m in a state to drive.” Harry asks quietly, almost inaudible.

“Sure, of course. Now, I didn’t get a name.” He says as he opens the passenger seat of the car.

“Harry Styles.” Harry slides in; the sound of the car door closing is too loud for his ears. Since when have his senses become sensitive?

 

The drive to the station was eerily quiet, but pleasantly short. Once Harry is inside the station, he’s brought into a dull looking room with two officers inside, sitting at the table.

“Take a seat Mr. Styles.” Offers the detective.

Harry decides to sit; feeling like his legs might give in on him. The detective looks at him questioningly before speaking.

“What was your relation with Liam Payne?” Asks one of the detectives.

“He is- was my mate.” Harry states, it feels so weird to talk about Liam in past tense. He glances over to the girl who’s casually scribbling in a notepad.

“What brought you to visit Mr. Payne today?” He asks voice bold.

 “It’s Christmas Eve; I wanted to bring him a present.” Hadn’t that been obvious?

“How did you get inside the house?” He continues. Third question in and Harry is already sick of this man’s voice and his continuous questions.

“He had a spare key under his mat. He wasn’t answering the door so I went in myself.” Harry says sighing.

“Did Liam have any enemies? Someone who had a motive to want him dead? Be honest with us Mr. Styles, that way we’ll find his murderer soon.” Harry thought about it for a moment. There was no one who could possibly hate Liam enough to _kill him_. Liam was an absolute angel.

_Unless it was William._

“No.” Harry lies, voice sounding cold. The detective examines Harry for a brief moment, before nodding and mumbling something to the lady with the notepad.

“Alright. Thank you for your time.” He says and Harry rises from his seat. “And sorry about your loss.” He adds, not sounding sorry at all. It must be something he has to say to people who lose a loved one, Harry figures.

He carelessly walks out of the station, not bothering to spare a glance at anyone, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. He stands outside, remembering that he left his car outside of Liam’s house. He doesn’t want to call Zayn, it’s too soon. Ed is at work, marking people’s skin permanently. His other choice is Louis.

“Hey Harold! Called to wish me a happy birthday?” Louis answers, voice too cheery for Harry’s liking.

“Oh. Happy Birthday Lou. And actually, I was wondering if you could pick me up at the police station. That is, if you’re not busy?” He says quietly. He hears shuffling in the background, and then Louis.

“What crime did you commit? I’m sure it wasn’t murder, you couldn’t even swat a fly-”

“Lou, please. It hasn’t been a good day.” Harry says, immediately regretting his tone of voice.

“Oh. Sorry… I’ll go. Text me the address.” Louis says quietly before hanging up. Harry feels like such a dick.

 

Louis arrives at the station 10 minutes after Harry sends him the address. Louis takes in how restless Harry looks. Something about his expression makes him look scared even.

“Come on in Curly.” Louis gives him a small smile as Harry get’s inside the passenger seat. Harry looks at Louis and notices how fucking beautiful he looks. His hair in a messy fringe, he’s wearing a black tank top that shows off his tattoos and biceps.

“Hi.” Harry makes out.

“Hi.” Louis laughs. “So, your house?”

“No, can you drop me off at a friend’s house? It’s just a couple blocks away.” Harry says, looking away.

“Sure! Anything for you Curly.” Louis pokes Harry’s cheek, where his dimple would be. Harry smiles lightly at that.

 

Louis parks behind Harry’s car, but Harry stays still. He doesn’t make any attempt to move but Louis doesn’t seem to mind. They both stay in silence, until Harry breaks down.

“Hey, no. It’s okay.” Louis unbuckles his seat belt and reaches over to hug Harry. He leans over, closer to Louis, burying his face against Louis’ neck. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Louis coos, rubbing Harry’s shoulder comfortingly.

“Louis. He’s dead.” Harry cries harder, boding shaking.

“Who’s dead love?” Louis asks quietly.

“Liam. My friend, he was murdered Lou. I’m so scared.” Harry sobs. He doesn’t want to say _why_ he’s scared, but feels the need to express it.

“Oh babe, I’m so sorry. I truly am.” Louis sounds genuine, unlike the annoying detective that was questioning Harry earlier. Harry clutches onto Louis harder, harder than he has to anyone ever.

After a few more sobs, Harry pulls back feeling more or less like a child.

“I’m sorry… I just-”

“Hey, it’s alright Curly. No need to be sorry. If you ever need anything, I’ll be here. You can trust me.” Louis gives Harry a look that makes him want to start sobbing again, but in a good way. The kind of comforting look that makes him feel safe, that makes him feel at home.

“Thank you Lou.” Harry sniffles, as Louis gives him a short peck on the cheek. He opens the car door, reaching for his car keys in his pocket. He turns to give Louis a glance, and their eyes meet. It seems like Louis was on the verge of crying, too.

Louis gives Harry a watery smile, before turning on his engine and leaving.

 

Harry arrives at headquarters with clammy hands and a racing heartbeat. He hesitantly walks inside Zayn’s office, spotting Zayn. Completely clueless to the fact that Liam is dead.

“Hey Harry. What brings you here today? Shouldn’t you be at work?” Zayn asks as he turns in his chair. Harry doesn’t say anything, not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t know what to say.

“You want to take a seat? You don’t look so good.” Zayn says, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. Harry slowly approaches the chair, taking a deep breath as he sits. “Harry, seriously man are you fine?”

“Does it look like it?” Harry spits, voice cracking.

“What happened Harry? You’re scaring the shit out of me-”

“Liam’s dead, Zayn. Liam is fucking dead. Stabbed to death, covered in blood. H-he… I found him like that. Can you fucking believe this?” Harry says, rising from his chair.

Zayn stares at him, expressionless. His breath visibly hitches.

“Harry… don’t do this. This isn’t funny.” Great, now Zayn thinks he’s fucking joking.

“You think I’m playing a fucking prank on you? Are you kidding me right now? I just witnessed my friend’s bloody corpse get stuffed into a bag and you think I’m _joking_?” Harry screams, not caring if his voice is heard from outside.

“Oh my god. Oh god.” Zayn says, as he presses his shaking hands against his eyes. “Fucking William. Must’ve been him.” He mutters under his breath. He looks up at Harry, eyes red and teary.

“Harry… you need to watch yourself.”

“Is that all you’re going to tell me? Aren’t you actually going to help? _Help me_ Zayn. _Please._ You’ve never even told me how this William guy looks like. How the fuck am I supposed to protect myself from someone I don’t even know?!” Harry is angry, and confused, and sad, but most of all _afraid_. He’s never been this afraid in his life.

“I-I honestly don’t know Harry. I, like you, have never seen the guy before. All I know is that he wears a Ruby ring on his finger and he’s always masked. I’m sorry… I’m useless.” Zayn lets out a cry.

“No you’re not Zayn. Fuck, I just. I just fear for my life.” He admits. “I’m just gonna go home. This is too much for me to take in.” He says, walking out of the room.

 “Don’t trust anyone” are the last words Harry hears before the door closes completely.

 

 

Louis and Zayn’s words echo in his head.

_You can trust me._

_Don’t trust anyone._

What the fuck is he supposed to do? He knows Louis can’t hurt him; he’s the most supportive person he has in his life right now. But Zayn knows too much, enough to know his rights from wrongs. But if Zayn says not to trust anyone, does that mean he shouldn’t trust Zayn either?

Harry needs a drink, or maybe a kill, this day went by painfully slow. He also forgot to call Ed and tell him why didn’t show up to work today. Fuck, he needs to get his shit together.

Harry calls Zayn, taking the kill idea into consideration.

“Anything I can do tonight?” Harry asks when Zayn picks up the phone.

“Harry you don’t need to do this.” Zayn explains.

“I _need_ this Zayn. There’s just so much build up inside me right now that I need to let out.” He says desperately.

He hears Zayn sigh. “Let me check.” Harry can hear the clicking sounds of the keyboard on the other line. “Okay, there’s two guys at a warehouse doing some sort of exchange. They were spotted there about 10 minutes ago. I’m sure they’re still there. Be quick though. I’ll text you the address.” Zayn explains.

Harry thinks about it for a moment. Does he really need to do this today? He’s had possibly the worst morning of his life; he needs release in _some_ way.

 

Once Harry receives the address to the warehouse, he makes his way there quickly, carrying a gun and pocket knife. He has leathered gloves on, so he won’t leave a single fingerprint. He stops a little far behind the warehouse, avoiding being noticed by someone. It’s dark outside, making it hard to check if anyone is near.

Harry gets out of his car, walking towards the warehouse. He stands by the door, pressed up against the wall. He can hear voices but can’t make out what they’re saying. He needs to be quick. The minute he gets inside he has to immediately kill them.

The voices slowly begin to fade, sounding much further than before. He opens the door slowly and takes a peek inside. He checks to see if he can spot anyone. No one. He finally gets inside, hearing the voices much clearer but can’t seem to figure out where they’re coming from. Or who.

He walks down the aisle quickly, gun in hand pointing it up. He stops at the edge and finally spots the two men, wearing suits. They seem to be foreign men, Harry thinks.

Harry aims at the one in the black suit’s head, pulling the trigger. Blood splatters all over the man with the grey suit, watching the other man collapse in horror. Harry ducks as he runs off to the other side of the aisle, keeping his eye on the man with the grey suit.

“Come out from where you’re hiding!” The man yells in a thick French accent. Harry crouches down, spotting the man through the gap of the aisles. He aims for his leg and shoots him right in the knee.

“Fuck!” He screams in agony, dropping to the ground. Harry quickly runs towards him, standing tall before him. Harry crouches down so he’s at eyelevel with him.

“Qui êtes-vous?” The man asks, spitting at Harry on the face.

“You did not just do that.” Harry says with an evil laugh, wiping off the spit on his cheek. Harry takes his gun and shoots the man in both hands, making sure he won’t be able to use them. He goes up to the man, holding his chin from behind with a gloved hand and pulling out the pocket knife.

“ _Vas te faire encule_.” Harry spits, slicing the man’s throat slowly, blood gushing out. Harry lets go of the man, watching him suffer slowly. Harry has _never_ felt pity. He wipes the knife on the man’s suit, smearing his own blood all over the man’s white button up.  He stands back up, placing the knife back into his pocket along with the gun.

When Harry starts walking outside, his phone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket and checks. It’s Louis.

“Hey Curly, just wondering if you’re okay.” Louis says quietly. Harry can’t believe it, but Louis actually _cares._

“I’m okay now. Thank you.” Harry says with warmth in his voice.

“I’m glad to hear it. Um, feel free to say no but… can I come over right now?” He sounds nervous. Harry wants Louis more than anything right now.

“Yeah sure. Of course. See you Lou.” He says.

“Great. See you in 10 minutes then.” He clicks. _Fuck!_ Ten minutes?

Harry runs quickly out of the warehouse, getting in his car and driving away.

He’s sure as hell he probably passed a million red lights on his way home but that’s the least of his worries. He finally makes it home and just as he makes his way upstairs to hide all evidence, he hears a knock at the door.

“Coming!” Harry yells from upstairs. He grabs the safe box from out of the closet and pulls off his gloves, stuffing the gun, knife, and gloves inside. He quickly runs down to answer the door, pulling it open to reveal a beautiful Louis.

“Missed you.” Louis says pulling Harry into an unexpected hug.

“You just saw me earlier today though.” Harry laughs, holding Louis in his arms. He pulls Louis inside, kissing every corner of his mouth like he hasn’t in _days_.

Eventually they end up on the couch, kissing deeply as Louis grinds his crotch against Harry. Louis pulls back, examining Harry’s face then freezing when his eyes land on Harry’s shoulder. He rubs a finger over Harry’s shirt and makes a face.

“Harry, is this blood?” Louis asks quietly, pulling back completely.

 Harry feels his heart stop beating.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Harry stares at Louis blankly. He mentally slaps himself for not changing before opening the door.

“I had a bloody nose earlier, must have stained my shirt without noticing.” He lies bluntly. Louis buys it completely, giving him a wicked smirk before reaching out to pull off Harry’s shirt.

“It’s not like we needed it anyway.” Louis says smugly, pressing his lips against Harry’s. He tugs on his hair roughly; a moan escapes from Harry’s lips. Harry desperately ruts against Louis’ thigh, searching for friction.

“Lou, let me suck you off yeah?” Harry whispers, voice rough against Louis’ lips. Louis hums in response, clambering off of Harry. They make it to the bedroom, completely undressed and exposed. Harry lays Louis down, leaving hot wet kisses all over Louis’ skin.

Harry moves down at eyelevel with Louis’ crotch. “Lou, you’re so hard.” He groans, eyeing Louis’ thick cock, leaking with precome at the tip. Harry wastes no time in getting Louis into his mouth, he arches forward, wrapping his soft pink lips over the head.

“Christ, you’re mouth is a fucking _sin._ ” Louis growls, watching attentively the way Harry works his cock. Harry bobs his head up and down, slowly.

Harry takes a hand, gripping the base of Louis’ cock, as he continues to bob his head. Louis’ involuntary jerks his hips up, making Harry take him deeper. Suddenly, Louis has an idea.

“Harry, can I fuck your mouth?” Louis moans out, watching Harry nod and pulling off. “Lay down for me yeah? Against the headboard.” Louis says as Harry obediently does as he’s told. _So submissive,_ Louis thinks.

Louis kneels over Harry, aligning his cock with Harry’s face. He brings a hand down to caress his rosy cheek with the back of his hand softly. “So beautiful babe.” Louis says, before taking a hold of his cock, guiding it into Harry’s mouth. “Pinch my thigh if it’s too much okay Curly?” Louis explains. Harry just nods, holding onto Louis’ deliciously thick thighs.

Louis’ thrusts start slowly, taking in the wet and warm feel of Harry’s mouth. He hears Harry quietly moan beneath him. He looks down, eyeing Harry’s ignored and leaking cock. Louis picks up his pace, head of his cock nudging the back of Harry’s throat. He lets out a strangled moan, feeling closer and closer towards his orgasm.

“Fuck Haz, look at you. You’re so gorgeous.” Louis says, cupping Harry’s jaw. He lets out a loud grunt, thrusting hard into Harry’s mouth. “I’m gonna come baby.” Louis closes his eyes and thrusts in deep, coming down Harry’s throat. Harry moans through it all, sending vibrations all over Louis’ cock. Louis pulls out gently, moving back to straddle Harry, kissing him hard.

“You were so good for me, such a good boy.” Louis coos, taking Harry’s flushed cock, giving it hard tugs. It doesn’t take long after, Harry spurts come all over Louis’ wrist. He lets out a satisfied sigh, wrapping his arms around Louis, pulling him in for a kiss.

“I loved it.” Harry says hoarsely, sounding completely fucked out.

 

They both take a quick shower together; washing each other’s hair through kisses.  Harry blows bubbles in Louis’ face, earning a soft giggle from Louis. Harry comes out first, wrapping a towel around his waist and hands Louis one as well.

“You can wear some of my clothes.” Harry says, smiling at him like he’s the most perfect thing in the world. Louis nods shyly, grabbing the grey sweats and boxers from Harry. He puts them on, both fitting loosely, as Harry walks in with a grey jumper, handing it to Louis.

“This is the smallest jumper I found.” Harry tells him, watching Louis slip it on. “You look cute.” Harry adds, grin plastered on his face.

“I prefer the term _sexy._ Cute makes me feel like a princess or someshit.” Louis says in all seriousness, smacking Harry on the arm playfully. Harry walks into his dark room, lying on his bed faced down.

“Maybe you are a princess.” Harry murmurs softly. “A tiny, _cute_ princess.” Harry suddenly feels a heavy weight on top of him, turning him over roughly.

“ _I am not a princess.”_ Louis growls, tone alarming. Harry looks deeply into his eyes, feeling the same way he felt the day he made eye contact with Aaron. He can see the same evil look in Louis. But in this case, it’s actually _hot_ , making Harry feel sort of _turned on_.

Harry lifts up, slamming his lips against Louis, smirking when he feels Louis give in. Louis tugs on his hair hard, causing him to _mewl._ But Louis pulls back, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I’m tired Curly, do you mind if we could go to bed? If that’s alright with you.” He says tiredly, pulling off the bed. Harry nods, moving over to the right side of the bed, patting the empty space. Louis smiles, getting into bed with Harry. He wraps an arm around his waist, spooning him. It’s odd, since Louis is smaller than Harry but it’s still perfect.

“Good night.” Louis whispers into Harry’s curls, smiling softly.

“Good night Lou.” Harry returns, mind slowly drifting off into a deep sleep.

 

The next morning, Harry wakes up early to an empty bed and a note by the drawer.

_Had to go do a thing, sorry! I’ll text you later today; I want to take you on a proper date soon. x_

_-Louis_

Harry smiles to himself, feeling warm inside. Louis _wants_ to take him on a date. He actually has _interest_ in him. It’s not like it wasn’t obvious before but, it’s just something Harry hasn’t really _taken_ in yet. It’s almost like a lost thought floating in his mind.

Harry decides not to think about it anymore, instead he calls Zayn, wondering how he’s feeling.

“Hey Harry, you didn’t call me last night. How’d it go?” Zayn asks casually.

“It was good. The asshole spit on my face but it was all too easy. Then Louis saw a blood stain on my shirt and he-”

“Louis?” Zayn interrupts.

“Right, I’ve been sort of seeing someone? Except I’m not seeing him. It’s nothing serious.” Harry adds. He’s right, it’s not like they’re dating or anything. It’s just sex pretty much (although they haven’t actually had _real_ sex.) But it still counts right?

“Why didn’t you tell me you were ‘seeing someone’?” Zayn retorts.

“I’m sorry okay? I don’t think I’ve had the time to explain to you anything either. Why are you getting all angry Zayn? I’m telling you, it’s _nothing_. No need to worry.” Harry tells him.

Zayn is quiet for a moment, and then Harry can hear him taking a deep sigh. “I’m sorry it’s just that… the whole Liam thing has gotten me so nervous. It’s like I can’t even properly think anymore.” Zayn sounds like he’s at the verge of tears.

“Zayn, it’s alright. I know this is hard for you; it’s hard for me too alright? By the way, do you know when his funeral is?” Harry asks. He hadn’t even thought about it till now.

“I heard it’s going to be after New Years or something. His family hasn’t actually decided when exactly it will be.”

“Are you going?” Harry finally asks.

“I don’t know Harry. It’s pretty dangerous, Liam was _murdered_. The murderer is up to something. I think it’s best if I don’t go.” Zayn says tiredly.

“I’m going. I don’t care if it’s dangerous or not. Liam _was_ my friend. I think I deserve to say my last goodbyes.” Harry takes a deep breath, trying to hold back his tears. “Do you honestly think William killed him?”

“There’s a high chance he did it, Harry. There’s really no one else who could’ve.” Zayn says candidly. “This is why I’m telling you-”

“I don’t want to hear it. The last thing I want to hear right now is that there’s a guy hunting me down Zayn, really. I don’t need it.” Harry cuts him off. It’s only a matter of time for William to finally figure out Harry was Aaron’s murder and end his life. Although Harry isn’t one to look forward to death, he still can’t get out of it.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Anyway, are you up for another kill today? This one is easy.”

“No. Not today, sorry. I’ve gotta let you go. Need to talk to Liam’s parents about the funeral.” Harry tells him, before Zayn is saying goodbye and hanging up.

Harry ends up calling Liam’s dad, asking him about the funeral and telling him how deeply sorry he is for his loss. Liam’s father gives thanks, sounding _very_ tired and _very_ heartbroken. Harry can’t imagine how hard it must be on them. Harry wonders if his mum will feel the same way the day _he_ gets murdered.

Turns out the funeral will be next Sunday, the third of January. Harry decides to call Ed and tells him he won’t show up at work for the next 3 weeks, and as expected, Ed brushes it off and says he ‘completely understands.’

Harry also decides to invite Louis to the funeral, which is totally strange considering he’s only known Louis for about half a month, but he still feels the need to. Louis tells him he’ll go, thankfully, so Harry stops worrying about it.

Eventually New Years comes by, and the day is actually not half bad. He and Zayn throw a party at Harry’s flat, filled with loud music and cheery people. Harry smokes with Zayn and gets drunk off his ass by the end of the night. Louis doesn’t call Harry and neither does he, but right when the clock strikes 12:00, Harry receives a text from Louis saying “Happy New Years! xx” that’s enough for him.

He’s not sure _why_ , but the thought of Louis sends a sort of fluttery feeling in his stomach. He’s also not sure why he pokes Zayn’s shoulder and says “I think I like Louis” while Zayn looks at him like a crazy person.  And he _also_ doesn’t understand why he felt the need to stand on the table and yell it out to everyone at the party, laughing like a complete idiot. But of course, everyone clapped and cheered confusedly.

The rest of the night goes smoothly; people eventually start leaving and at some point Harry forgets how to be stable again.

 

The next morning, Harry wakes up on his living room floor. He’s confused, and has a massive headache. He slowly, but painfully, gets up, seeing Zayn knocked out on the couch. There’s a huge mess _everywhere_ Harry can’t begin to describe how fucked up his house looks.

He walks into his room half asleep, startled by the couple lying naked in his bed, condom wrapper tossed on the floor.

“Hey what the fuck?!” Harry yells loudly, waking the couple. The girl quickly grabs her clothes, the guy following behind mumbling a ‘sorry mate.’

Harry slams the door shut angrily, waiting for the two to get the fuck out of his room. The pair comes out within a matter of seconds, the girl giving Harry a sorry look and walking right past him. They both leave, and Harry checks every other room to see if he could find anyone else. Fortunately, all he found was more trash, and no naked people.

He shakes Zayn awake, pleading him to help clean the place up. After a couple more ‘ _please_ ’s and ‘ _I beg you_ ’s, Zayn finally agrees, groaning loudly and shoving Harry away from him.

They take about 3 hours and 6 full trash bags to get the house cleaned up. Harry particularly takes a longer time in his bedroom, changing the sheets and throwing the old ones out. The fact that complete strangers fucked on his bed makes him cringe. Zayn laughs in his face.

“Well, I guess my job here is done.” Zayn says after throwing away the last trash bag. Harry sighs loudly, throwing himself onto the couch.

“You can go now.” Harry mumbles. Zayn smiles and ruffles Harry’s hair, then walking towards the front door and leaving.

 

Harry doesn’t know how long he slept for, but when he wakes up on the couch its dark outside. He groans and makes himself a cup of tea. He checks his phone and sees he got a text from Louis.

**_L_ : _Hope you’re okay Curly xx_**

Suddenly, the memories from the night before flash in his mind. He remembers how he admitted to everyone at the party like a fucking maniac that he likes Louis. He feels like an idiot, but laughs at himself.

“God, I’m crazy.” Harry whispers into the emptiness of his house. He sends a text back, putting his phone away before going back to his room.

**_H: I am, thankfully. See you in two more days xx_ **

He spends the rest of the night watching Friends reruns and laughing loudly whenever Joey does something stupid. It’s nice having sometime to himself, he thinks. But he wishes Louis was with him.

 

The funeral is sad, as all funerals are. Harry and Louis watch Liam’s friends and family break down, and it’s devastating. Harry hides his tears behind shades, and Louis grabs his hand and gives him a light squeeze and for some reason it makes him cry harder.

They watch as they bury Liam’s body underground, and Harry questions if Liam is actually in a better place, or if heaven is just a load of shit.

“I wonder how it’s like.” Harry whispers to Louis.

“Wonder what how is like?”

“Dying. Like, what happens after someone dies? Do they just stay in the darkness forever?” Harry looks at him, in all seriousness.

“You’d have to die to find that one out wouldn’t you?” Louis tells him. He’s right. It’s only matter of time before that happens anyway.

By the end of the funeral, Harry is too exhausted and not in the mood for anything, so he gives Louis his goodbyes and drives straight home to his bed. He sends a quick ‘thank you’ text to Louis before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

 

 

About a week later, he gets a text from Louis around 3 in the afternoon, asking him if he’ll be available later on today, and Harry assures him he will. Louis tells him to be ready before 5, and to dress fancy.

Harry starts getting ready by 4, starts by taking a hot shower. He gets dressed, he wears a black Saint Laurent, a black buttoned up (which is only buttoned halfway), a black blazer, black dress pants, and boots.

He checks himself in the mirror, styling his hair up in a quiff. He takes one brief moment to look at himself, feeling like he might’ve overdressed. But before Harry could even think about changing into something else, his door bell rings. He rushes to answer it, Louis standing before him in a blue tux that he’s _sure_ makes his ass look great.

“Hey love. I bought you these.” Louis says, handling him the roses. Harry smiles widely, taking them and giving Louis a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you Lou. This is so sweet.” Harry moves out of the doorway and into the kitchen, finding a spare vase and filling it with water. He places the dark red roses in it, and sets the vase in the middle of the table. 

“You’re welcome, thought it’d be a nice gesture. Never done that for anyone else to be honest.” Louis explains, giving Harry an honest look. Harry grins at him shyly, feeling somewhat special. “We should get going; reservations are for 5:30.” Louis says quickly, making his way back to the door.

“Reservations? Geez Louis, where _are_ you taking us?”

“It’s a surprise.” Is the only thing Louis says. Harry closes his house door, following Louis towards his car. Louis, like a proper gentleman, opens the passenger door for him. Harry steals a chaste kiss from him while getting in.

 

They arrive at a restaurant, the windows are tinted which makes it difficult to see inside. There’s a line outside, and Harry feels bad for those people who have to wait. Louis takes Harry by the hand, leading him towards the lady holding a list.

“Tomlinson for two.” Louis tells her, watching the lady look down at her list. She flips the page, until her finger lands on Louis’ name.

“Ah yes. Right this way.” She guides them inside, the restaurant itself is fancy looking but inside it’s almost another world. Harry is amazed on how fucking beautiful it looks, the lights are dim but not too dark, the tables are organized neatly, not to mention how great the food smells.

The lady – who didn’t give her name – finally gets to their table, kind of distant from the rest. Almost _private._ Its great Harry thinks, it feels sort of romantic.

Harry and Louis both take a seat, across from each other. The lady hands them the menu and leaves. Harry smiles at Louis, which he finds doing quite often.

“You’re gorgeous.” He hears Louis tell him. He hides his face behind the menu, hearing Louis laugh. He peeks at Louis, smile obvious in his eyes. Louis pulls the menu away from Harry unexpectedly, causing Harry to yell out a “hey.”

“Quiet down or we’re going to get kicked out _before_ getting our food.” Louis says seriously, before breaking into a smile. “You’re such a child, you know that?” Louis says fondly.

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ child.” Harry says, freezing when he realized what he said. He _isn’t_ Louis’. What an idiot. Louis probably thinks Harry’s taking everything too fast. For god’s sake, they haven’t even _properly_ shagged yet. What makes him think they’re together anyway?

Harry lets out an awkward cough, right as the waiter approaches their table. Harry takes back the menu, quickly scanning through it, trying to go with the most decent sounding meal.

“Can I take your order?” The waiter asks them, looking between the two.

“I’ll have the Filet Mignon.” Louis tells him. He’s probably been here before, Harry thinks. “What about you Harry? What are you having?”

Harry picks a random dish, ordering a ‘Chicken Tetrazzini.’ The waiter nods, writing down their order.

“We’ll have wine. Thank you.” Louis says, before the waiter takes their menus and dismisses himself.

“So, you like it?” Louis asks, taking Harry’s hand from across the table.

Harry pretends to think about it, and then makes a face of dislike.

“You didn’t. I knew you wouldn’t. We could go somewhere el-”

“I’m kidding Lou! I’m totally kidding.” Harry interrupts quickly, giggling through words. “This is perfect. Way more than I expected.” He smiles.

Louis sighs in relief. “I swear Curly, you’re going to kill me one day.” Louis smiles at him, crinkles forming by his eyes.

“Who knows, maybe _you’ll_ end up killing me first.” Harry adds, noticing the way Louis stiffens. Harry was just about to comment on Louis’ odd reaction until the waiter showed up with their wine. 

The waiter takes the glasses and pours the wine, handing it to them. Harry takes a drink, finishing it halfway.

“Harry” Louis begins, taking a seductive sip from the wine. “I know this might not be a good topic but… your friend Liam. What happened to him?”

Harry takes another drink from his wine, finishing it all. “Well, he was stabbed. I don’t know who did it. No one has a clue.” Harry lies. Harry can’t tell him the truth, even though every bone in his body wants to.

Louis nods in understanding. “Want more?” He gestures to the wine bottle and Harry nods, pouring more wine into the glass.

Their food finally comes, and Harry takes a whiff of it. It smells delicious, Harry doesn’t think he’s smelled better tasting food (but if his mum asks, yes he has.)

They eat in comfortable silence, occasionally exchanging a few set of words. Once they’re done, Louis orders the bill and pays, leaving a huge tip that has Harry slightly gaping.

They both leave out hand in hand, walking slowly towards Louis’ car.

“Did you like it?” Louis asks with a smile.

“Loved it actually. Thank you.” Harry returns. Once they’re both in the car, Louis puts on the radio loudly, and they both sing along to the mainstream pop music, laughing and giggling.

“You have a great voice Curly.” Louis compliments, watching Harry blush lightly.

“Thank you.” He says shyly. Louis leans over and kisses his cheek.

Louis finally makes it to a house Harry’s never seen before; it’s quite big, almost like a mansion.

“Is this your flat?” Harry asks.

“I guess you can say that. It was my ex-boyfriend’s but when he died, he left it to me.” Louis explains, getting out the car and opening Harry’s door.

They both get inside and Harry swears the house just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

“Wow Lou, this place is huge. And you live here all by yourself?” Harry didn’t mean to sound rude, he’s hoping Louis doesn’t take it that way.

“Well considering that I don’t really spend much time at home, it’s actually pretty great. I like it; I had everything remodeled after he passed away. It was just a reminder of how horrible he was his last few months.” Louis tells him, looking at Harry suggestively. “ _You should see the master bedroom.”_ Louis says with a slight smirk appearing on his face and that’s all it takes for Harry to jump on him like a wild animal, kissing him hungrily.

Surprisingly, they make it to the master bedroom fully clothed. Harry pulls back for a moment taking in the view of the room. There’s a _huge_ bed in the center, with a mirror on the ceiling. The room itself looks like heaven.

“Jesus Christ, Louis.” Harry says in awe.

“Want to try out the bed?” Louis says and Harry nods immediately. Louis shoves Harry onto the bed, crawling over him, pulling off his clothes slowly. Louis takes Harry’s scarf, and leaves it on the drawer, and Harry wonders why but doesn’t care to ask.

Soon enough, they’re both naked and grinding up against each other, Harry panting against Louis’ lips.

“Lou-please.” Harry whimpers. Louis kisses Harry’s neck, nibbling softly at his milky skin.

“What is it babe? Tell me what you want.” Louis coos, taking one of Harry’s nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it.

“Oh fuck. Louis, I want you.” Harry moans loudly. Louis goes back over to Harry’s mouth, kissing him passionately.

“Want what babe? My mouth-”

“ _I want you.”_ And _oh_.

Louis _finally_ clicks with what Harry is saying, and kisses him harder and deeper, tongue exploring every inch of Harry’s wet mouth.

“Are you sure babe?” Louis asks and Harry nods desperately.

“Yes yes please. I need you inside me.” Harry whimpers breathlessly. Louis hums in response, reaching in the drawer for lube and a condom.

“Okay baby, turn over for me yeah?” Harry turns over obediently, his perky ass out for Louis to see. Louis takes a pillow and taps on Harry’s hips. “Lift up a bit.” He places the pillow beneath Harry.

“God you’re so beautiful, such a pretty little arse.”  Louis runs a hand over Harry’s back softly, then down to his ass cheek, giving it an experimental squeeze.

“Louis _please_.” Harry whimpers, and soon enough he hears the cap of the bottle open. Louis slicks his fingers up with lube, softly pushing one inside. Harry moans softly, muffled by the bed sheets. Louis begins to push his finger in and out at a slow pace.

After 3 fingers, Harry is a whimpering mess, pushing back against Louis’ hand, desperate for more.

“I’m ready Lou, please just _fuck_ me already.” Harry growls, grabbing Louis’ hand and pulling his fingers out a little too roughly. He winces at the empty feeling.

“Okay, turn around then love. I wanna see your beautiful face.” And Harry quickly shifts so that he’s facing Louis. Harry wraps his long legs around Louis’ torso. Louis rips the condom wrapper open, quickly slipping it on his hard cock. He takes his cock, aligning it with Harry’s hole, bracing himself with the other hand beside Harry’s head. Louis and Harry lock eyes as Louis pushes in, feeling Harry’s tight heat around him.

“Oh fuck, so fucking tight.” Louis moans loudly. Harry grabs Louis’ bicep, holding tighter as Louis pushes inside him. Once he’s bottomed out, Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ neck, kissing him fondly. Harry feels so _full,_ and it’s all _Louis_.

“Move.” Harry croaks out finally feeling comfortable, and Louis pull out, slamming back inside hitting Harry dead in the prostate. “Fuck!” Harry yells as Louis thrusts inside of him, the loud sounds of their panting and skin slapping against skin filling the room. Harry’s hands roam all over Louis’ back, blunt nails scratching against Louis’ soft skin.  

Louis picks up his pace, thrusting hard inside Harry, balls slapping loudly against his ass. Harry looks up at the mirror and _he can see himself getting fucked._

He looks so fucking obscene, he can the muscles on Louis’ ass as he thrusts inside him. “Oh my god, fuck fuck fuck.” Harry sobs as Louis grabs a hold of his cock, giving it sharp tugs. Harry hides his face on Louis’ collarbone, lips brushing against his skin.

“You like that?” Louis whispers breathlessly in his ear, sending shivers throughout Harry’s body. Harry can’t speak; his throat feels tight and feels so close to coming. The only sound that comes out of Harry is a choked cry. He shuts his eyes, and his whole body shutters as he comes, whimpering Louis’ name loudly. He clenches around Louis’ cock, and Louis lets out a grunt, pulling out of Harry and tossing the condom away.

“Here Harry.” Louis says quickly as he grabs Harry’s scarf, pulling it over Harry’s eyes, blindfolding him. Harry can’t see anymore, but he can hear the wet sounds of what he thinks is Louis jerking off. “Open your mouth baby.” And Harry does, spreading his lips open. Louis gives his cock a few more tugs before coming all over Harry’s face, some landing in his mouth. “Fuck, you look so perfect Harry. So fucking perfect.” Louis pulls the scarf off of his eyes, and Harry looks up at the mirror and he can _see._ He can see how fucked out he looks.

Louis drops against the bed, lying beside Harry, breath harsh and skin sweaty.

“That was great.” Louis says, kissing Harry’s soft lips. Harry smiles, pulling Louis closer to him. Louis sticks out his index finger, collecting his _own_ come off Harry’s face, giving it to Harry who sucks happily.

“It was.” Harry grins. “Is blindfolding one of your kinks?” Harry teases.

“Maybe, just wait till you see the rest.” Louis winks, a shock of heat flowing through Harry’s body at the thought.

Harry rests his head on Louis’ bare chest, as Louis brings a hand down to wrap in around Harry’s waist.

They stay like that for a while, in each other’s arms. Coming down from their post-orgasm high. Until Harry breaks the silence.

“You never told me what happened to your ex-boyfriend.” Harry says curiously. He knows nothing about who the guy was.

Louis sighs before laughing softly.

“What?” Harry asks confused.

“We just had _amazing_ sex and now you’re asking me about my dead ex-boyfriend. That’s pretty strange.” Louis tells him and Harry sinks into the bed, feeling ashamed. “But if you really want to know, he was murdered.” Louis says no hint of emotion in his voice.

Harry quickly sits up, in shock. “What? H-he was killed? By who?”

“No one knows, really. But it doesn’t matter anyway; he wasn’t really a good guy.”

Harry’s afraid to ask, he rather not know. But his brain can’t handle the curiosity. “What was his name?” Harry asks voice shaky.

“Aaron. Aaron Moore.”

_Oh shit._


	7. Chapter 7

Harry freezes in Louis’ arms and Louis seems to take notice of it.

“What’s wrong love? Did you know him or something?”

“No! No...” Harry quickly lies. “I heard about him on the news. Did you know he was involved in a drug cartel?” Harry asks quietly. Louis scoffs in response.

“Of course I knew. I lived with him, even if he hadn’t told me there’s no fucking way he could’ve hid it from me.” Louis tells him. Harry can’t really process this information, his natural reaction is to let go of Louis and climb off the bed.

“Louis, you know that man was dangerous right?” Harry says sounding _too_ concerned for something that’s in the past. He needs to get out of here. Most of all, he needs time to think about it all.

“I _knew_ Harry. I don’t understand why this is a big deal.” Louis sounds annoyed, with a hint of anger lingering in his voice. Harry wastes no time in grabbing his clothes and putting them back on.

“H-Harry, why are you leaving? Did I scare you?” Louis sounds worried now, and his expression has softened. “Fuck. I’m sorry I shou-”

“No.” Harry cuts him off. “I just… this is a lot to process Louis. You were involved with an ex-drug dealer. What does that make of you?” Harry spits, knowing very well that he’s out of place because _he himself_ isn’t such a saint.

Louis doesn’t say anything, and really, Harry expected that. “Good bye Lou.” Harry says before walking out the door, despite Louis’ pleads.

 

Harry finds himself in the same situation he was in once, restless and unable to sleep. But this time he doesn’t have Louis to text him and keep him feeling sane. Ever since he found out that Aaron was Louis’ ex, he can’t seem to think straight. What was he supposed to do? He cares about Louis, and there’s no way he can find out that Harry was his murderer. He _swore_ to Zayn that no one was to find out about Harry’s situation. But he can’t find it in himself to lie to Louis and keep that secret away forever.  

He stopped talking to Louis since that night, but Louis constantly texts him and calls him every day. Days turned into weeks and eventually the weeks turned into a month, a month without speaking to Louis. Maybe it’s for the best, Harry thought. He shouldn’t get involved with Louis, it could hurt his place in the association. It could get him _killed_ by one of his own. Even though Louis didn’t _actually_ participate in Aaron’s drug cartel, he’d still be considered an accomplice.

Which is why Harry refused to spill a word to Zayn. When Zayn asked what happened with Louis, he simply said “ _It didn’t work out”_ and Zayn shrugged it off, never mentioning it again. He also hadn’t done one single kill since the last one. Every time Zayn offered, Harry would decline, feeling better with himself for not ending someone’s life.

But if Harry was honest, he _wasn’t_ okay. He’d grown so attached to the blue eyed man. It’s a feeling that even _scares_ him. A feeling that could evolve into something much deeper, but Harry wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t ready to get too attached and care so much, _too_ much. People around him began to notice he wasn’t the same. When he’d shown up at work at the tattoo parlor, Ed had asked what was wrong but Harry insisted he was okay. But Ed, oh bless his soul, wasn’t buying any of Harry’s shit. So, he asked him to take another break, maybe up until he began to feel more like _himself._  Harry wasn’t sure when that was going to happen.

Eventually, Louis stopped texting and calling and that’s what broke Harry the most. He wondered if that meant that Louis was done. If that invisible bond they had finally broke. Harry blames himself, of course. He’s the idiot that left Louis after they had sex. God, he feels like such an asshole. He should’ve at least given some sort of explanation, because Louis deserved it… Louis deserves so much.

 

\--

 

Harry is lying on the couch in the living room, trying to distract his thoughts by watching some lame TV. The day so far is calm, and relaxing. Something Harry hadn’t felt for a while. Things are going okay, until he hears a knock on the door.

He eyes the door, and something inside him refuses to go answer it. He’d rather pretend he isn’t home. But then another knock comes, this time harder than the first. Harry rolls his eyes and yells “coming” before lazily getting up from the couch to answer.

He’s wearing nothing put a plain white t-shirt and grey sweats, typical lazy Saturday. He turns the doorknob and opens the door with one swift move.

Harry’s breath hitches when his eyes meet with beautiful blue ones.

“Hi.” Louis says tiredly. Harry takes a look at him, eyes lingering all over his face. He looks tired, and much more restless than Harry. He has dark circles under his eyes like he hasn’t slept in days. His blue eyes aren’t as blue, but they’re still beautiful.

“Louis.” Harry says emotionless. He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should just shut the door or let him in. Considering how much of an asshole he feels like, letting him in is just the proper thing to do. “Come in.” Harry steps out of the way and weakly gestures inside. Louis goes in, like a lost child.

“You want tea or coffee? Anything?” Harry offers, as if they hadn’t stopped talking for a month. As if everything was perfectly fine and not awkward.

“Tea. Thank you.” Louis gives him a weak smile that Harry returns. Once Harry prepares the tea, he hands it to Louis who’s sitting at the table. Harry decides to take the seat in front.

Surprisingly, it’s quite for a moment. But not awkwardly quiet, it’s the calming, peace kind of quiet. Harry looks up at Louis and their eyes meet, but Harry breaks the eye contact. He hears Louis sigh quietly, before watching him set his cup down loudly on the table. For a second Harry thinks that Louis is angry, but that thought quickly vanishes when Louis speaks.

“Harry” he starts. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner about Aaron. I didn’t actually think you’d take it that way.” Harry raises a hand to cut him off.

“No. _I’m_ sorry. I’m sorry for overreacting and disappearing on you like that. I shouldn’t have done that. I feel like such an asshole.” Louis softly laughs.

“That makes two of us then.” Louis tells him, giving him a warm smile.

“Yeah, I guess it does.” Harry smiles back, feeling much more alive. “Why’d you come here?” Harry asks curiously.

“Well, considering the fact that you weren’t answering my phone calls or texts, I had no other choice than to come here. Niall suggested it too.”

“Niall?” Harry remembers Louis mentioning a Niall but doesn’t recall much of him.

“Yeah, blonde Irish fella I used to live with. He thought I was an idiot for letting you slip so easy. But little did he know I wasn’t going to let that happen.” Harry smiles at that, feeling that _bond_ with Louis again. The one he thought had broken the minute Louis stopped contacting him.

“Sounds like a wise man. I would love to meet him one day.” Harry says, only half jokingly.

“You could. Right now if you’d like? I’m sure he’s up to nothing right now.” Louis says excitedly. Harry thinks about it for a brief second before nodding. Meeting one of Louis’ mates wouldn’t hurt.

“Just… let me change first.” Harry points down to his clothing. Louis laughs.

“Fair enough. Wouldn’t want you meeting my mate looking like a couch potato.” Louis jokes, watching Harry pout in response.

Right as they’re out the door, Harry grabs a hold of Louis’ arm lightly, surprising him.

“So we’re okay?” Harry asks him, looking at him like he’s fragile.

Louis smiles, pulling him into an embrace. “We’re okay.” Louis pulls back, reaching up to kiss Harry on the lips. Harry almost forgot how much he missed that.

They drive to Niall’s house in Louis’ car, and Louis talks a bit about him on the way there. He mentions that Niall is friendly and far from intimidating. He talks about how Niall still lives in the same house he and Louis shared for a couple years. He also mentions that he loves to drink. Harry likes him already.

Once they’re outside his door, Harry feels somewhat nervous. He’s afraid that Niall might hate him.

“Relax babe, he’ll like you.” Louis reassures him, kissing his cheek. Niall opens the door, smiling brightly at both.

“Louis! Hey!” He hugs him tightly, swaying back and forth. “And you” Niall points at Harry “must be Harry.” He says smugly. Harry stretches out his hand to shake put Niall smacks it away and pulls him in for a hug as well. Harry laughs, feeling out of breath, tight between the hug.

“Okay Niall don’t kill him.” Louis jokes. They all make their way in, sitting on the couch. Louis puts a possessive hand on Harry’s thigh.

Well _that’s_ new.

Harry smirks softly at that and Louis notices, squeezing Harry’s thigh suggestively.

“Ugh please, you guys _just_ got here.” Niall teases. “So Harry, tell me about yourself. You seem like a nice lad.” Niall tells him, in his thick Irish accent that Harry finds quite amusing.

“I- um.” He turns to look at Louis who just smiles at him. “I would’ve thought Louis had told you my whole life story by now.” Harry tells him, smirking. Louis looks at him, shocked written all over his face.

“Eh, you’re right actually.” Niall says, breaking into a loud laugh. Louis flips him off, lifting his hand off of Harry’s thigh.

“No Louis for you tonight.” Louis whispers in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

“See, there you go again. I swear you two are like hormonal teenagers.” Niall rolls his eyes fondly, rising from his seat. “You lads want anything? I’m gonna go make me self a sandwich.”  They both kindly decline as Niall shrugs and goes into the kitchen.

Just as Harry is about to say something, Louis’ phone rings. He pulls out his phone, looking at the caller ID.

“Shit. I have to take this.” Louis tells him before opening the front door and stepping outside. Niall comes back, with a sandwich in one hand. Niall takes notice of Louis’ absence, and quickly sits beside Harry.

“How long have you and Louis been dating?” Niall asks, eyeing Harry.

“We… we aren’t dating.” Harry says slowly.

Niall nods in understanding. “Okay how long have you two been going at it? You know… sticking your dicks in each other.” And wow, this boy has no filter whatsoever.

Harry blushes, staring down at the ground. Niall takes a loud bite of out his sandwich before Harry answers. “I’ve _known_ him for 2 months, almost 3.” Niall chews loudly, as he nods again. Then his whole expression changes into something serious, something he didn’t think he’d ever see on Niall.

“Well Harry. I can tell you that Louis really likes you. _Really_ does. After you left him-”

“I didn’t leave him.” Harry interrupts.

“- he came crying to me about it. Saying that he screwed everything up and he wasn’t ready to lose you and all of that sappy stuff. You make him really happy, you know that. And Louis, he falls really easily for people. That guy, Aaron, basically brainwashed him. I didn’t like the guy at all. After a couple weeks, Louis moved out and he wasn’t the same anymore. Then, Louis confessed to me that Aaron was some type of drug dealer or someshit illegal like that. But then the guy started treating Louis like crap and _that’s_ when Louis was slowly becoming Louis again. He broke up with him and the fucker was killed. I honestly thank the guy who killed him. He deserved to die, no offense.”

Harry stares blankly at Niall, feeling giddy about what Niall is telling him. _Louis really likes you._ He also mentally says to himself ‘ _you’re welcome about killing Aaron_.’

“My point is, that guy screwed Louis up. Lied to him and hurt him. Promise me that you’re not like him. Promise me you won’t _dare_ to land a hand on Louis or even think about lying to him.” Niall warns, looking at Harry for an answer.

“I would never hurt him.” Harry tells Niall seriously. Now with _lying_. Harry hasn’t lied to Louis _per se_ , he’s just hiding the fact that he’s involved in an anti-drug cartel association that murders drug cartel members and that one of the men he murdered _just_ _happened_ to be Aaron who also _just happened_ to be Louis’ ex-boyfriend.

“Good.” Niall smiles, putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “No lying to him either Harry.” Harry nods, thinking about his words for a moment.

Louis emerges from the door, smiling at the two.

“I think we should get going.” Louis tells them both, and Harry complies, getting up and heading towards the door.

“Alright mates. See you soon yeah? And Harry… remember what we talked about.” Niall tells him.

“What did you guys talk about?” Louis asks curiously, looking between the two.

“We just discussed what kind of sex positions you’re into the most, also some of your kinks.” Niall winks at a scandalized-looking Louis. Harry lets out a loud laugh that echoes throughout the house.

“Okay bye Niall!” Louis says, pulling Harry away.

They both go back to Harry’s flat, cuddling in each other’s arms while watching _Love Actually_ because “Louis it’s my favorite movie please!” and “Okay Harry, next time _I’m_ choosing.”

Harry can’t stop thinking about Niall’s words. He shouldn’t lie. To Louis, most importantly. There’s a thing constant pulling in his chest, something that _wants_ to confess about Aaron’s murder. But then there’s his mind, telling him not to, convincing him that it’ll ruin everything. But then again, Niall assured him that Louis really liked him. So, it couldn’t possibly change things right?

Harry decides to do what’s best, or what he thinks is best. He takes a deep breath before sitting up, untangling from Louis’ arms.

“What’s wrong?” Louis says caringly.

Harry takes a moment, heart beat racing. Once he opens his mouth there’s no way out of it anymore. No way to take back his words or reverse time. This is it; this is the moment he has to say the truth.

“Louis, there’s something I need to confess.”

That’s it.

There’s no turning back now.


	8. Chapter 8

Louis promptly turns off the TV and faces Harry, feeling uneasy.

“Harry what is it? You’re scaring me.” Louis murmurs. Harry stares blankly across the room, at nothing in particular. Louis gets quickly impatient, shaking Harry’s arm lightly. “Harry. Tell me.” He pleads.

Harry begins to cry, he doesn’t really understand why he feels suddenly so emotional but as the tear begins to fall, he lets it happen. He sighs deeply and looks at Louis with sad eyes.

“I killed him.” Harry chokes out, heart thumping loudly against his chest he swears he can hear it. Louis freezes, pulling away from Harry like he’s some kind of monster.

“Killed who Harry?” Louis asks like he’s afraid to know the answer.

“Aaron.” Harry sobs, slightly feeling like he committed the biggest mistake ever.

Harry looks up at Louis, watching Louis’ expression. Louis doesn’t move, doesn’t make a sound. He just stares at Harry, looking betrayed and hurt. When Louis finally does move, Harry wishes he hadn’t.

“I can’t… I can’t deal with this right now.” Louis walks towards the door before stopping and turning back to look at Harry. “Just… explain to me _why.”_ And Harry knows with his heart Louis deserves an explanation. He deserves to know the truth despite what Zayn and anyone else might think.

“I work for an anti-drug cartel association. My boss told me to execute him while I had the chance.” Harry says huskily.

Louis nods and laughs harshly. “And how long were you planning on not telling me this Harry? How long did you think you were going to lie to me and make me feel _stupid?_ Huh?” Louis spits indignantly.

“Louis no. You’re not stupid-”

“Tell me god dammit!” Louis yells, causing Harry to visibly flinch.

“I-I didn’t know how to tell you Lou. Honestly, how was I supposed to explain to you that I murder drug dealers for a living?” It sounds way worse out loud it makes Harry feel uneasy.

“So lying to me was your solution.” He doesn’t answer. “Let me guess, the day you had blood on your shirt.” Harry knows where this is going. “It wasn’t because you had a bloody nose was it? You fucking _murdered_ someone right before you saw me.” Louis sounds assured, looking at Harry for a response. He nods slowly, more tears spilling from his eyes.

Louis scoffs. “You know, I thought for once I had finally found someone nice, someone who wasn’t a liar or a complete asshole. But look how wrong _I_ was!” Louis laughs, eyes watering. It hurts, it really does but Harry deserves it. “Harry I care… I care about you more than I thought I could.” He says, voice lower.

“But?” Harry speaks. Louis’ expression falls completely, sighing tiredly.

“But I… I can’t Harry. I can’t do this” he gestures between the two “while you’re out there murdering those people.” Harry nods, accepting that maybe Louis is right. Maybe Louis shouldn’t be involved with a sick fuck like him. “I’m sorry.” Louis says breathlessly.

Louis turns back towards the door, turning the knob. “ _Bye Curly_.” He whispers before opening the door and leaving.

Harry takes a moment to grasp what just occurred. Louis is gone. He’s officially done with Harry, _just_ when he got him back. The day Harry feels like he finally did something right, he goes on and screws it over completely.

Harry cries harder, his sobs muffled by his pillow. He clutches it hard, like he’s holding on for his life. After a minute, Harry grabs the pillow and viscously throws it across the room. He grabs his hair and pulls on it angrily, grunting in pain.

“I fucked it up!” Harry yells into the silence. “I fucking lost him!” He pounds his fist onto the bed repeatedly.

 

1 vodka bottle later, Harry is lying on his couch, rambling on to himself, talking all kinds of nonsense.

“I fucking hate him.” Harry slurs, alcohol flowing through his veins. “I hate him so much, and-and! He hates _me!_ Just because I murdered his stupid ex-boyfriend!” Harry hiccups and laughs like he just told a joke. Then, Harry begins to sob like he did earlier.

“I don’t hate him. I don’t.” He cries, rubbing his eyes. “I… _I love him.”_ He whispers, shocking himself with his own words.

“I love him.” He repeats. He finally said the words he couldn’t find himself to say before. Harry smiles drunkenly, and his expression falls almost immediately remembering today’s earlier events.

“He hates me.” A shuttered hiccup escapes from his lips. He rises from the couch, wobbly walking towards his room and collapsing onto his bed, faced down. He turns his head to the side for air, shutting his eyes, feeling really tired. Sometime later he falls asleep, and the last thing he thinks of is Louis.

 

After a miserable week filled with tears, and more alcohol, Harry finds himself alone (as always) in his home. He decides he needs a drink, and approaches his fridge but finds it empty. He silently curses under his breath, grabbing his car keys and heading out the door.

He goes to the liquor store, buying a 6 pack of beer and an expensive bottle of vodka because he can. He pays the cashier, who recognizes him by now since Harry has been showing up here quite often this week. The cashier gives him a knowingly look but Harry brushes it off, quickly getting into his car and driving back home.

He arrives about 10 minutes later, beers and bottle in his hands. He stops at his door and leaves the 6 pack of beer on the ground, reaching into his pocket for his house keys. Just as Harry reaches out to put in the key, he feels something hard hit him in the head and everything goes black.

 

When Harry wakes up, he’s disoriented and very confused. He feels the faint ache in the back of his head from where he got hit. He has no idea how long he’s been unconscious for. He tries to move and realizes he’s tied to a chair, hands behind his back.

“ _Shit no no no.”_ He panics, trying to pull free but it’s no use. He’s tied up good and securely, unable to free himself. He looks around, turning his head. He’s in a forest. A fucking forest.

“Help!” He yells into the forest, feeling slightly frightened by nature. It doesn’t seem like anyone else is around and that’s what scares Harry the most. He breathes in the air, trying to calm himself down. But his brain is washed with bad thoughts, and it just makes everything worse.

Harry fidgets, trying to escape, completely unaware of what’s going on, why he’s here or who brought him. On one harsh pull, Harry tips the chair over, falling on the hard ground. He screams in agony, hurting his left arm.

“Help me please! Somebody!” He pleads, getting more and more frustrated by the minute. Suddenly, a masked man appears from behind a tree, and although Harry can’t see his face, he seems to appear very displeased. He shakes his head walking closer to Harry.

“Get the fuck away from me!” Harry yells but the man seems not to care. The masked man grabs the chair and Harry by the arm, pulling him back up again. Harry stares at the man, wondering who he is.

“Who are you?” Harry asks huskily, now feeling afraid. The man stays quiet, putting a finger up to his lips signaling Harry to be quiet. Harry turns his head in curiosity when he notices the ruby ring on his finger.

_“I, like you, have never seen the guy before. All I know is that he wears a Ruby ring on his finger and he’s always masked.”_

Zayn’s words echo in his head and his eyes widen in realization.

“You’re William. No, you’re William! You are fucking William!” Harry screams, never feeling so vulnerable in his life. He wants to get out of here.

William says nothing, just watches Harry quietly.

As much as Harry wants to live, there’s no way he’ll make it out of this alive. He’s always known since the minute Zayn told him that William was hunting him down. Now that he’s actually here, with him, he can’t quite comprehend. But there’s nothing else he could do than just accept his fate and deal with it.

“Kill me!” Harry yells unexpectedly, not knowing where this sudden _bravery_ is coming from. “Isn’t that what you’ve wanted? To kill me? To watch me suffer and end me forever? All because I killed that fucking worthless piece of trash.” William continues to stand there, like a statue.

“Say something!” Harry yells again, feeling angered by this man. “Don’t be a fucking pussy and just end me already!” Harry growls and before he knows it, William clutches his hand around Harry’s throat, cutting off his air supply.

Harry saw this coming; he knows he’s going to die today. He closes his eyes tightly, wishing that it would end quickly. But then William releases his throat, stepping back and shaking his head in displease.

Harry desperately breathes in, trying to regain himself. Harry wonders if this is just a fucking game or if this man really is going to kill him. He can’t handle just sitting in this fucking uncomfortable chair, waiting for William to make up his mind.  

After a couple minutes of absolutely nothing, Harry begins to feel tired, wanting to just fall asleep and pretend it’s all a dream. He lays his head to the side and closes his eyes slowly, afraid that William might hurt him while he’s asleep.

The very recognizable sound of a gun sends Harry’s eyes flying open, feeling much more awake. He sees William with the gun in his hand and Harry thinks that this is it. William finally made up his mind.

“Are you going to kill me or not?” Harry says tiredly but William just shrugs. “Just… do it please. I deserve it, I deserve to die.” His words surprise William. There’s no way he could sit here for another second, waiting for his death to come.

William steps closer to Harry with the gun in his hand. Harry can’t help the tear that falls from his eye, looking down to the ground and feeling so ashamed. He’s about to die and he’s here crying pathetically in front of his killer.

Harry looks back up, and William points the gun to his head. Harry is so close to death he can almost feel it, ironically. He wishes he could’ve at least said his last goodbyes to his loved ones. To his mum, Zayn, his friends from work.

He wishes he could’ve said his last goodbyes to Louis. No. He wishes more than that. He wishes he could’ve made things right with him. To tell Louis how he really felt, to have confessed about the murder a long time before. He wishes he could’ve loved Louis the way Louis truly deserved it.

There’s so much he could’ve done right with him. So much Louis deserved. But Harry just had to go and destroy him and their relationship. There wasn’t even a fucking relationship to begin with. They never made it official, never even spoke about it. And now that Harry thinks about it, that’s something else he wishes he could’ve worked on with him.

But of course his wishes are nothing but pointless because his life is about to end. His life is about to end because he’s a fucking idiot. His life is about to end because William is pointing a gun to his head.

He looks at William with sad eyes, and he pushes the head of the gun against his forehead, feeling the cold metal of the gun on his skin. Then suddenly, he takes the gun and throws it to the side, landing loudly on the ground.

Harry is very confused; he’s too confused he can’t quite process what just happened.

 “Wha-”

Harry’s sentence is cut off when he see’s William step back and slowly pull off his mask. Harry watches him, watches the way his fingertips grab the end of the mask and lift it off completely, revealing the man’s face.

And Harry… if he hadn’t died before, he surely could die now.

“Louis?” Harry almost suffocates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clapping for those who knew it all along haha!


	9. Chapter 9

“Louis.” Harry repeats quietly. He isn’t sure if he’s imagining this or if it’s real. His mind isn’t properly functioning, and these past moments have been quite surreal. It’s like he’s stuck between his dreams and reality. But right now, everything is _very_ real.

Louis has been William all along.

Louis wants to kill him.

_Holy shit, Louis is going to kill him._

Harry lets out a choked cry, unable to wipe the tears because his hands are tied behind him. Louis gives him a sad look before wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, holding him close.

“Harry, why are you crying?” Louis asks, pulling back. Harry glances up at him, sniffling and taking a deep breath.

“Are you going to kill me?” Harry asks numbly, feeling somewhat scared. He looks at Louis when he hears him let out a humorless laugh.

“Are you kidding me? Harry I could _never_ hurt you.” Louis says blandly, almost sounding hurt.

“But Zayn. He told me that you’ve been hunting down Aaron’s killer and I-”

“That was before I knew it was you Harry. Yes, I hated the person who killed him and I wanted him dead but it’s you. You aren’t just _another person._ I don’t care who’ve you killed or what you’ve done; I would never be able to take your life. Even if I tried, I couldn’t." Louis explains. “You have no idea, how much I fucking care about you.” He lets out another laugh.

Harry meets Louis’ eyes, wanting to say what he feels but Harry can’t form the proper words.

“Did you always know it was me?” Harry croaks out. Louis sighs, before nodding hesitantly.

“It had been a lost thought in my head, something I refused to believe. When I went to Liam’s funeral, he seemed familiar. I recalled seeing him when Aaron had his guys tie him up. I didn’t go along with it; I stayed silent and left. Then Aaron came home furious that night explaining that some curly-haired bloke had rescued Liam. So I always had this _theory_ that the guy Aaron was talking about was you. ” Louis gives him a sad smile.

“It was.” Harry confesses. Louis nods, running a hand through his hair. Harry has so many questions, so much he wants to know. But there’s something in Louis’ eyes that tells him this isn’t easy for him.

“So what now?” Harry asks slowly, pulling lightly at his bounded hands.

“I’m not going to kill you Harry. If that’s what you’re wondering.” Louis pulls out a pocket knife, walking closer towards Harry. And Harry can’t help but feel really scared, his heart beating hard against his chest he’s sure t Louis can hear it.

“Relax.” Louis assures him. He walks behind Harry, taking the rope and cutting it, releasing Harry’s hands. He gets up from the chair, turning to face Louis.

“Would you ever kill me?” He’s not sure where the question is coming from, but he feels the need to ask. “If you know, you had the chance?”

“Harry, I told you already. I care a _lot_ about you for that. God, I care so much it fucking scares me.” Harry knows what Louis wants to say but isn’t. He fucking _knows_ but he just wants to hear him say it.

Harry steps closer towards Louis, keeping his eyes on his. He lifts his hand to lightly swift his fingers against Louis’. Harry steps even closer, so close that his lips brush over Louis’ but not quite touching.

“Harry.” Louis whispers breathlessly. Harry brings a hand up to caress Louis’ cheek gently.

“Tell me Lou. Tell me exactly what’s going through your mind.” Harry pleads quietly, rubbing his thumb across Louis’ cheek.

“I-I…” Louis stutters out, grabbing Harry’s waist, pulling him closer, if that’s even possible. For a slight moment, they both say nothing, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. Until Louis finally says the words Harry’s been dying to hear.

“I love you.” Louis breathes out and Harry leans in hard, kissing Louis desperately. Louis’ grip on Harry tightens; pressing his fingers hard on Harry’s hips, he’s sure they’ll be a mark. Harry can feel the cold metal of Louis’ ring on his hip. He manages to slip his tongue inside, exploring every inch of Louis’ warm mouth. A moan escapes from Harry, as he buries his hands in Louis’ messy hair.

“God Harry, I love you so much. More than I thought I could.” Louis confesses, resting his forehead against Harry’s. “I don’t ever want to lose you. I can’t even stand the fucking thought of it.” Harry beams at Louis’ words, feeling warm and tingly inside.

“Make love to me.” Harry blurts out and watches as Louis’ breath hitches.

“Here? Like right now?” Louis says sounding surprised. Harry kisses Louis’ neck, sucking a bruise on the dip of Louis’ collarbone, earning a moan from Louis. “Fuck, yes. Yeah… let’s.”

Harry hums in response as he continues to leave kisses all over Louis’ neck. “Wanna ride you… on that chair you tied me up in.” Harry smirks wickedly as he kisses Louis’ lips.

Harry pulls off his shirt, then the rest of his clothes, tossing them onto the grass. Louis quickly does the same, and sits on the chair.

“Come here.” Louis pats his bare lap, cock hard and stiff between his legs. Harry sits on his lap facing him, feeling Louis’ cock on his ass. “Are you sure you want this? I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone like this before.” Louis admits, lightly blushing. Harry grins, wrapping his arms around Louis’ neck.

“I _really_ want this.” Harry purrs in Louis’ ear, nibbling his earlobe. Louis brings up three fingers up Harry’s lips, telling him to suck and Harry obliges. He hollows his cheeks obscenely as he sucks Louis’ fingers loudly. Once they’re wet enough, Louis pulls them out and reaches down. He urges Harry to lift himself up and he does. Louis finally reaches down to Harry’s hole, circling the rim with his wet finger before slipping his finger slick with spit inside gingerly. Harry grunts quietly, burying his face in Louis’ neck.

Louis continues to push his finger in, caressing Harry’s curls with the other hand. He murmurs soft praises, thrusting his finger in and out of Harry’s tight hole. He pushes another finger in, and this time the stretch burns slightly more, but not so much in a bad way. Harry makes a fist against Louis’ chest as Louis pushes in a third unexpectedly.

“Fuck.” Harry groans out, feeling the stretch, and feeling so _good._ Louis pushes his fingers in deeper, the tip of his fingers brushing against Harry’s prostate. Harry moans out, pushing down against Louis’ fingers.

“You’re doing so good baby. Doing so well for me.” Louis coos, pulling his fingers out entirely. “You ready?” He gazes into Harry’s eyes, filled with lust and finds nothing but assurance.

“Please Lou.” Harry begs, his cock _too_ achingly hard and feeling _too_ empty. He needs Louis inside him. And he needs him now.

Louis nods, giving Harry a quick kiss on the lips before spitting on his hand, coating his cock. Harry lifts his hips, hole hovering over Louis’ cock as Louis takes a hold of it, guiding it towards Harry’s entrance.

Harry beats him at it, though, dropping down gingerly on Louis’ cock. It presses in and Harry whimpers at the feeling.

Once Louis bottoms out, Harry rises up, and drops down again. He wriggles his hips to get used to the feeling, and once he’s sure of it, he begins to swiftly bounce on Louis’ cock.

Louis watches in awe, holding his hips as Harry rides him. It feels _amazing._ Harry’s mouth gapes slightly, small moans and whimpers escaping his lips. The sound of their breaths and skin slapping fills the quietness of forest.

Harry picks up his pace, but his legs begin to quiver, feeling so close to his orgasm.

“Lou, fuck. Please.” Harry begs. Harry stops his movements abruptly, waiting for Louis to make a move. Louis’ grip on Harry’s hip tightens, and he thrusts up into Harry continuously. He watches the way Harry looks wrecked, forehead filled with sweat and cheeks flushed.

Louis continues to slam into Harry, finally finding his prostate as Harry lets out a loud moan.

“Louis, I’m close.” He moans breathlessly. Harry begins to babble random nonsense, and suddenly he finds himself saying _“tell me you love me.”_ For a moment, Harry regrets saying that but then Louis smiles, kissing Harry’s bird tattoos and biting the skin there. “Louis.” Harry moans again.

“Fuck Harry.” Louis grunts, thrusting harder into Harry, feeling a familiar feeling in his abdomen. “Harry I fucking love you. I love you so fucking much.” Louis moans and Harry’s whole body shutters suddenly, chanting Louis’ name repeatedly and coming untouched. He comes all over Louis’ chest, and his whole body goes limp, burying his face on the crook of Louis’ neck.

It takes a few more thrusts for Louis to come too, buried deep inside of Harry, cock pulsing hot liquid inside.

“Fuck, Harry.” Louis chokes out.

They both stay like that for a moment, mixed in each other’s sweat and come. Harry kisses Louis’ neck, before pulling back to look into his eyes.

“I love you too.” Harry croaks out, sounding dazed. He gives him a sleepy smile.

Louis smiles in return, reaching a hand out to brush the hair out of Harry’s eyes. “I’m glad.” He whispers, giving him a kiss on the lips.

They somehow manage to get their clothes back on, Harry walking awkwardly as he feels Louis’ come drip out of him.

“Lou.” Harry gasps.

Louis laughs, smirking at him knowingly. “We should get home quickly, need a shower.” Louis says, walking over to the gun he threw.

Harry limps, following Louis to his car. They seem to be walking for a long time, until Harry spots Louis’ car down the road.

They both get in silently, until Harry breaks into a watery laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Louis asks curiously. Harry turns to look at him, beaming.

“I was brought into a forest, thinking I was going to get killed. But instead, I was told I was loved and fucked senseless on a chair.” Louis smiles, leaning over to kiss Harry’s lips.

“You’re an idiot. But I love you.” Louis tells him. Harry’s pretty sure he’ll never get used to hearing it.

 

Once they get back to Harry’s home, they take a long, hot shower together. Louis pins Harry on the wall and fucks him slowly, kissing every inch of his neck, whispering sweet nothings over the noise of the water. He makes sure Harry knows how much he loves him, but Harry does.

They’re lying on Harry’s bed, in each other’s arms the way it was meant to be. Harry takes a deep breath, caressing Louis’ bare chest with his thumb. Louis’ hand in buried in Harry’s curls, and he moans in satisfaction.

“Today has been crazy.” Louis whispers. Harry huffs out a small laugh in agreement.

“Yeah, it really has been. I seriously thought my life was going to end today.” Harry says, and Louis looks down at him, frowning.

“Did you seriously think I was going to kill you? Honestly Harry.” Louis asks, tone filled with curiosity.

Harry sighs before sitting up to face Louis. “Honestly? Yeah, I did. The moment you grabbed onto my neck I thought that was it. My life was over. And at that moment I thought about what it’d do differently if I had the chance.” Harry explains.

Louis looks at him amused. “Like what?”

“There was a lot. But I thought about you. Us.” _Us._

“Us?” Louis asks.

“Yes, us. We never, you know, made it official between us. Never had ‘the talk’ or whatever. I would’ve changed that. I would’ve made you my boyfriend the minute I had the chance.” Harry takes a deep breath, looking over at Louis who’s now beaming.

“You know.” He starts. “We still haven’t made it official.” Louis teases. And he’s actually right.

Harry takes a hold of Louis’ hand, looking at him in the eyes. “Louis Tomlinson. Will you be my boyfriend?” Louis smiles widely, the way Harry loves, his eyes forming crinkles at the edges.

“I want to be yours _forever.”_ Louis replies, tackling Harry with kisses. Harry giggles, kissing Louis deeply and affectionately.

Then Harry suddenly freezes at a thought.

Something he didn’t think about thoroughly before. If Louis is William then…

_Louis murdered Liam._

Louis notices the sudden change in Harry because he’s not kissing him, so Louis pulls back.

“Harry what’s wrong?” He asks, looking worryingly at him.

Harry shakes his head, refusing to ask because he’s not ready for an answer.

“Harry what is it?” Louis says, this time his tone is sharper.

“Did… Why’d you kill Liam?” He asks, voice quiet.

Louis sucks in a deep breath, pulling back and rubbing his forehead.

“Why?” Harry asks again, voice louder.

“Harry.” Louis whispers. “ _I_ didn’t kill Liam.”

_Wait._

_What?_

“Y-you’re not lying-”

“No Harry I’m not lying. I had nothing to do with the murder of Liam.” Louis sighs. Harry checks his expression, and finds nothing but truth written all over Louis’ face.

“Then who did it?” Harry asks, feeling nauseous.

“I don’t know Harry. I don’t know.”


	10. Chapter 10

The next few months pass by pretty quickly, and Harry spends those months wrapped in Louis' warmth, tangled between his sheets.

He doesn't do killings anymore and Zayn asks why but Harry doesn't have a straight answer to that. Mostly because he feels like it's betraying Louis, and he hates to _even_ think about that. 

He still shows up at work, of course, and Ed takes notice of Harry's much _happier_ state. 

"So Harry, new lover?" Ed asks Harry in the middle of a tattoo. 

Harry smiles shyly, not looking away from the man's wrist. "What are you talking about?"

Ed rolls his eyes, even though Harry isn't looking at him. "Harry, these past weeks you've been showing up to work with the biggest grin plastered on your face. No one, and I mean no oneis _that_ enthusiastic about work." Ed argues. 

Harry just laughs because, it's all Louis.

Louis, who besides their differences, sticks with him. Louis, who is supposed to be a nemesis and a target, is actually his boyfriend and his life.

And if Harry looks back at the moment he first met Louis, he would've never thought he'd mean so much to him.

So far, everything with Louis has been way past great. Louis shows up at his flat every day, spending hot and sweaty nights with Harry. Although Louis is absolute shit at cooking, he still occasionally serves Harry breakfast. And yes, it may not be the greatest eggs Harry's tasted, and sure, the toast is a little burnt, but it's still the best.

The only downside is keeping Louis a secret, and Louis has done the same. If _anyone,_ particularly _Zayn,_ were to figure out that Harry is dating the leader of a drug cartel, Harry would absolutely have it.

Not only is it against the rules, but it can drastically change the trust he and Zayn share. And even if Zayn _is_ his boss, he's still Harry's best mate, and it kills to lie to him. But it's only for the sake of his relationship with Louis.

So, if you'd ask Harry, he's happy. He's very much happy with _his_ Louis.

"So, tell me about this guy?" Ed takes a chair, sitting beside Harry and the customer. 

"Um, his name is Louis. And he's..." Harry puts down the machine and sighs. He wipes the thin line of sweat forming on his forehead with his arm. "Ed can you not distract me? I'm trying to draw a fucking skull, _permanently_." Harry reminds him, but doesn't stop grinning. The man sighs, but doesn't say a word.

Ed decides to give up and nods his head in understanding. He gives Harry a small pat on the shoulder. "Alright H, but this doesn't mean you're not spilling your secrets later."

He just laughs.

 

Harry lies breathlessly in bed, sweaty and tired. Louis is lying beside him, in a more or less equal state.

"You want me to get you cleaned up?" Louis asks, referring to the come on Harry's stomach. Harry nods hazily, watching Louis rise up to grab a clean towel. 

He comes back within seconds, wiping the come off of Harry and throwing the towel on the ground. He collapses over Harry roughly with a soft _'oof'_.

Harry stares at Louis, eyes beautifully blue like the ocean. And it makes sense in a way, because Harry can feel himself drowning in them.

"You're thinking." Louis points out. Harry breathes out audibly, but stays silent. Louis gives him a short peck on the lips, sliding off of Harry. He turns him over to his side, to wrap a small arm around Harry's torso.

"Tell me what's on your mind." Louis whispers. 

"It's just. I feel bad you know?" Harry says. 

"About what?" Louis nuzzles closer to Harry, burying his face in Harry's curls.

"Lying to Zayn." Harry states.

Louis stays quiet for a moment, and Harry wonders if Louis hates Zayn or something, if it's a natural reaction to being the leader of the drug cartel.

"You're not lying to Zayn. You're just keeping a secret." Louis says.

"Isn't that the same thing?" Harry asks puzzled. Louis pulls Harry closer, taking a deep breath.

"No. Not really. Because if you _were_ lying to Zayn, you would've told him we weren't seeing each other when we are. But you haven't, right?" Harry takes a moment to study Louis' words, and maybe he has a point. It sort of makes sense, he hasn't _necessarily_ lied to Zayn. It's just... he isn't telling him the truth.

Which is still wrong. Or the same thing...

"You're thinking again." Louis laughs softly.

"Sorry." Harry breathes out. "Do you think I should? Tell him about us I mean?" Harry asks curiously. This isn't only about him, this is also about Louis too. Louis could also get into deep shit.

"What matters most to you Harry? Our relationship, or your life?" And wow. That's a harsh question.

"Why?" Harry asks.

"If we keep this between us, of course we'd have to be careful, there's nothing to be afraid of. But, if you _do_ say something." He pauses. "You're smart. You should figure out the consequences." Louis says simply. 

Harry swears his brain is about to explode. 

He pulls away from Louis, sitting up and facing him. He rubs his face in frustration and Louis takes notice. 

"Hey, babe. Come here." Louis says, sitting up and pulling Harry to his chest. He puts an arm around him, rubbing circles with his thumb on Harry's shoulder.

"I don't know what to do. Louis, we could get _killed_." Harry says, voice shaky. 

Louis sighs loudly, kissing Harry's temple gently. 

"Honestly Curly, I can take care of myself, and _you_. I wouldn't worry so much about that if I'm honest." That eases Harry's heart a little. "Seriously, if they _do_ come after us, we can move far away. Away from all of this. Maybe we can move to America, buy a huge mansion with 7 rooms and a pool. Also, we'll make sure it has a game room and a water bed." Louis winks. "We can buy horses, adopt kitties and puppies. Maybe even buy a pet monkey Harry! Wouldn't that be cool?"

"And have kids too." Harry blurts out mindlessly. He instantly freezes, but Louis holds him closer and kisses his cheek.

"You want that?" Louis asks, smile obvious in his voice. Harry looks up at him with big green eyes, nodding hesitantly.

"Do you?" He asks in a tiny voice that doesn't sound like his own.

"Of course I want that. As long as it's with you." Louis says happily. Harry _beams._

"I love you Lou." Harry says, not finding it enough to express what he feels.

"I love you too Harry. No matter what decision you make, I'll always love you alright?" He lifts Harry's face with his fingers under his chin, making sure Harry fully understood what he said.

Harry nods, sighing and scooting back down on the bed to sleep. 

"Good night Lou." He whispers.

"Good night baby." 

 

He decides to tell Zayn. And he didn't think much of it after Louis' words. Maybe it's the best thing to do, Zayn is an understanding person so there's nothing to fear.

The worst Zayn could do is pull out his gun and shoot Harry right then and there, but that's too far, even for him. So Harry doesn't consider it.

He gets to headquarters early in the morning, hoping to see Zayn in his office. 

He runs into him at the entrance, though, at Harry wasn't expecting that.

He hadn't seen Zayn in 4 months, and he doesn't look much different. Except, he looks restless, dark circles under his eyes and he has a light scruff like he hasn't shaved in 3 weeks.

"Harry?" Zayn frowns.

"Erm. Hi." Harry says awkwardly. "Do you have a minute?" 

Zayn blinks a couple times before nodding and heading back to his office wordlessly. Harry follows behind, avoiding the odd looks he receives from his co-workers.

He hears someone whisper something that sounds a lot like _William_ and Harry wonders if they know. 

He suddenly wonders if Zayn knows. And if he does, he'd be in total shit.

Zayn quietly sits in his chair, motioning Harry to sit in front of him.

He doesn't say anything at first, just stares at Harry attentively and Harry feels odd. 

"Would you mind explaining to me why the fuck you disappear for months without giving me a straight answer?" Zayn growls, and Harry feels threatened. He's never seen this side of Zayn before, it's quite scary.

"I, um." Harry visibly gulps. "I've changed my mind about things." He states.

Zayn raises an eyebrow, and he now looks confused rather than furious. "Really? And changed your mind about what exactly?" Zayn crosses his arms.

It's unnerving really, if Harry had to admit it. But he swore he was going to tell him the truth, and he wasn't backing out now.

"Zayn. William is my boyfriend." Harry says quickly.

If Harry had to describe Zayn's expression, he'd say he looked like he's been hit by a train.

"Excuse me." Zayn gives a small humorless laugh. "What was that?"

"I'm involved with the new leader of the drug cartel." Harry says softly.

Zayn nods, uncrossing his arms and rubbing his chin. "And how is that? Did he just magically appear out of no where? Or did you go find him and decide he's fit and say  _'hey maybe I should fuck this guy because I haven't been properly laid in forever_ '." Zayn mocks.

"No, fuck no. Zayn, William's _real_ name is Louis. You remember him right?" Harry asks, feeling slightly offended but putting it aside. 

Zayn doesn't say anything, but Harry takes it as a yes. 

"He was also Aaron's boyfriend." Harry adds. Zayn gives a harsh laugh, slamming his fist hard against the table, and Harry visibly flinches.

"I should've fucking known." Zayn mumbles angrily, Harry almost missed it. He looks up at Harry with flaming eyes.

"Get out." Zayn spits. Harry is shocked, to say the least. He can't believe Zayn is really acting this way.

"But Zayn-"

"I said get the fuck out!" He screams, rising immediately from his chair. "You have no right to say a word. You backstabbing fuck!" Harry feels like he's been wounded, because he really hadn't expected this. 

Harry's eyes begin to water, and he slowly stands with wobbly legs. 

Zayn sighs deeply, before shaking his head. "I.. I'm sorry Harry. I didn't mean that." But he did, Harry thinks. "I just need some time to think about this yeah?" 

Harry nods in understanding, wiping his eyes embarrassingly. 

"Be careful. I always remind you." Zayn says, sounding more like himself this time. Harry feels relieved, because at least he didn't storm off with an angry Zayn left behind. 

Harry wordlessly makes his way out the office, driving back home as quickly as possible.

As expected, Louis is waiting for him on the couch, with a huge smile plastered on his face. But his smile immediately fades into a frown when he notices Harry's red and watery eyes. 

He rushes to him, holding him close as Harry cries onto his neck. 

"Hey baby what's wrong?" Louis asks.

"I told him. About us." Harry whispers.

"What'd he say? I swear if he fucking _touched_ you I will kill him."

"No Lou. He just lost his temper for a moment but. His words still hurt yeah? He's my best mate. I wasn't expecting his reaction." Harry explains between hiccups. "I'm just scared." 

Louis sighs, holding Harry closer until he can't breathe.

"It's going to be okay Harry. It's going to be okay." Louis coos, rubbing Harry's back comfortingly.

 

That night, Louis makes love to Harry properly, opening him up slowly and reminding him that everything is going to be okay. He pushes inside slowly, kissing every inch of his face, telling Harry that he'll take care of him. 

Louis makes sure to remind him how much he loves him. But Harry already knows. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically just smut so...

"So, has Zayn called you or anything?" Louis asks Harry during breakfast.

"No, why? Have you heard something?" Harry looks up, worryingly. 

Louis takes a bite out of an apple, chewing quietly and shrugging.

"The guys at the cartel right now are taking things easy. I haven't been so involved recently, I'm surprised they haven't trashed me out yet." Louis laughs.

"Maybe that's because they're scared of you." Harry says, watching the way Louis smirks. 

Louis takes the silver knife from the table, running his fingers through the sharp end. 

His smirk widens, lifting up the sharp knife and pressing it against Harry's jaw. 

Harry lets out a sharp breath, staring back at him. He shouldn't be finding this as hot as he does. And he _certainly_  shouldn't be growing embarrassingly hard in his sweats.

"Are _you_ scared of me, Curly?"Louis asks, sliding down the knife across. He isn't pressing hard enough to slice Harry's skin, so Harry isn't really worried about that.

"No." Harry croaks out. He closes his eyes, shutting them tight. He feels the knife brush against his neck, then over his Adam's apple. Out of instinct, he swallows hard, and feels a sharp burn in his throat. 

He opens his eyes, and Louis pulls the knife away, replacing it with a delicate finger. 

"You're bleeding." Louis says nonchalantly. Harry brings a hand up to his neck, rubbing his fingers over it. He sees a small stain of blood on his finger tips. Louis must've cut him when Harry swallowed. "It's not deep." He adds.

Louis reaches closer to Harry, then presses his lips on his Adam's apple, sucking on his blood.

At this point, Harry's rock hard in under his sweats, and he just wants Louis to fuck him. 

"Lou." Harry moans out. Louis licks at the cut, sending a wave of heat all over.

"What baby?" Louis whispers. "What do you want?" 

Harry gropes Louis' shirt tightly, pulling him off from his chair and over to sit on his lap.

Louis can feel Harry's obvious hard on under him, he takes the advantage, rocking his hips slowly. He kisses Harry's jaw, then under his eyes, eventually reaching his mouth desperately. 

"Lou, I can't. I'm gonna come." Harry whimpers, feeling Louis grind harder. 

 _"I want you to fuck me."_ He hears Louis say, then let's out a choked sound. 

"Yeah? You want that?" Harry breathes out, staring back at Louis' lust-filled eyes. 

"I've been wanting that for a while now." Louis confesses, biting his lip shyly. 

Harry gropes Louis' ass with his large hands, pulling them both up from the chair. Louis wraps his legs around Harry, as he carries them both to the bedroom. 

Harry gingerly places Louis on the bed, hovering over him. He pulls off Louis' sweats, which in fact are actually his, realizing that Louis isn't wearing any boxers.

Harry gasps quietly, watching Louis' cock lay hard against his bare stomach. He reaches down, leaving a kiss on the shiny tip of Louis' cock.

Harry pulls off the bed, discarding his clothes and grabbing the bottle of lube that's less than halfway filled. He climbs back over Louis, leaving a prominent love bite on his collarbone. 

"Harry." Louis moans out, wrapping his arms around Harry's shoulders.

Harry opens the lube bottle cap, oozing out a small bit on his fingers. He leaves it to the side, running his hand down Louis' beautiful torso.

He can't believe he gets to have Louis like this, all laid out and perfect.

Harry moves down kissing Louis' inner thighs, purposely avoiding his cock. He then brings a lubed finger to Louis' pink hole, circling around the rim teasingly.

"Mm, be gentle. It's been a while." Louis pants. Harry nods, carefully sliding his slim finger inside. He pushes past the rim, feeling Louis' hot, tight heat. 

"Oh." Louis whimpers, hand gripping into the sheets. Harry pushes in deeper, watching the way Louis squirms. 

"Okay?" Harry asks. Louis nods, breathing heavy.

"Yeah just... move it a bit. Your fingers are fucking huge. Can't imagine how your cock will feel." Louis smirks. Harry huffs out a laugh, getting slightly impatient. 

He begins to thrust his finger in and out at a slow pace, but then pulls his finger out completely.

"Hey wha- _fuck_." Louis moans loudly, feeling Harry's wet tongue entering him. 

Harry smirks against his hole, tongue darting in and out. Louis brings a hand to Harry's hair, yanking at his curls.

 _"Fuck fuck fuck."_  Louis sounds obscene, Harry thinks. He continues to lick inside Louis' velvety walls, savoring the unique taste. 

He licks a long strip over his rim, sliding in a finger, this time a little easier. He thrusts his finger inside repeatedly, licking around the rim.

"God Harry." Louis whimpers. "Another finger, _please_." He begs.

Harry hums happily, pushing in a second finger gingerly. He pushes in deep this time, easily finding Louis' prostate. He rubs over it, causing Louis to arch his back in pleasure.

"Yes. Fuck yeah." Louis breathes out. Harry begins to scissor him, opening him up quickly.

He finally enters another finger, feeling the way Louis tightens against them. But _thankfully_ , Louis grows equally impatient, slapping Harry's hand away.

"Christ Harry. Just _fuck me_ already." Louis growls. 

Harry quickly grabs the bottle of lube, coating his _painfully_ hard cock and aligning it with Louis' hole. He lifts Louis' legs over his shoulders, making it easier to enter him.

He pushes in slowly, stretching Louis open, watching the way his cock disappears inside Louis' hungry hole.

He looks up at him, eyes locking as Harry bottoms out.

"Fuck." Harry groans outs, throwing his head back. Louis is fucking _tight,_ tighter than he thought. _  
_

Hestays like that for a while, waiting for Louis to get used to the feeling of his cock buried deep inside. 

"Fuck Harry, you and your monster cock are going to split me open." Louis says, and Harry kisses him to shut him up. If Louis says another word he swears he's going to come before Harry properly fucks him.

"Move." Louis finally says, and Harry does immediately, snapping his hips against Louis.

His thrusts start slow and deep, each thrust hitting at a right angle. Louis grabs Harry's back, digging deep into his skin. 

"Oh fuck, H. I love your cock. God this feels good." Louis whimpers, hole clenching and unclenching around Harry's cock. 

"Lou." Harry moans, thrusting in harder, the sounds of his balls slapping against Louis becoming louder.

The bed underneath creaks in time with Harry's thrusts, making it  impossibly hotter for Harry. He takes Louis' hard cock, giving it weak tugs.

Louis starts to push back against him, mumbling words Harry can't make out. 

"Harry, I'm gonna-" Louis makes an inhumane sound, before coming hot liquid all over his own chest. 

Harry's mouth gapes, watching Louis with flushed cheeks and completely _wrecked_. 

Never in a million years did he think he would ever see Louis look like this, look so _submissive_. 

Harry grabs a hold of Louis' hips, fucking into him harder and quicker. Louis' body at this point has gone limp, so he's just laying there and taking it.

"Fuck Lou, you're so gorgeous. Taking my cock." Harry groans, feeling so _in control_. "Turn over for me yeah? Ass up." Harry pulls out, watching Louis flip over and sticking out his ass. 

Harry can see his perfect little hole, now red due to how sensitive it must be.

Harry runs a hand down Louis' back soothingly, before slipping his cock right back in.

" _Ah_." Louis moans in a high pitched tone, taking both his hands down to his ass cheeks and spreading them wider.

Harry bites his lip to hold back a loud moan. "So good." Harry says. He puts a hand on Louis' head, shoving his face down into the mattress and thrusting relentlessly.

He feels _so_ close, buried deep inside of Louis. But he has other plans.

He quickly pulls out again, flipping Louis over wordlessly and cradles his chest.

"Open." Harry commands, and Louis hazily opens his mouth. Harry jerks himself a couple times before coming with a sharp cry, filling Louis' mouth. Some lands in his hair and on his cheeks, but Harry wipes it off with his thumb, sticking his finger inside Louis' mouth.

Louis sucks lazily, and Harry notices that he's a little _off_.

Harry lays beside him, wrapping an arm around Louis' waist facing him, ignoring the fact that there's come all over his chest.

"Hey Lou. Come back." Harry strokes Louis' cheek, who's eyes are closed. 

Louis smiles blissfully, burying his face in Harry's chest. 

"Mm, I feel warm." Louis says slowly. Harry pulls him back, patting his cheek. "I'm sleepy." Louis tells him.

Harry sighs, pulling Louis' sweaty body closer and closing his eyes.

 

Louis awakes completely disoriented, with a faint ache in his bum. Then he remembers Harry fucking him, smiling at the thought.

Harry isn't beside him though, and Louis is confused. He groans loudly, rubbing a hand across his face.

"Hey you. You're back." Harry walks in with a cup of tea and a smile.

"Hey Curly." Louis grins. "How long was I asleep for?" Louis wonders.

"About 3 hours. I thought you had died about an hour in until I saw that you were peacefully breathing." He hands the cup to Louis, kissing his forehead. 

Louis laughs, taking a small burning sip. He notices Harry's expression fall, and it sends an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Are you alright?" Louis asks.

"Yes, more than alright." Harry winks. "It's just... Zayn called while you were asleep." 

Louis sits up immediately. "What did he say?" 

Harry shrugs, staring at nothing in particular. "He just said he wanted to talk to me. In person. He told me he was going to call me soon once he had things sorted out." Harry explains.

"What'd you think he's gonna say?" Louis asks. 

"I don't know. But I wouldn't worry. Zayn's a nice guy, I doubt anything _bad_ will happen." 

Louis scoffs, taking another sip. 

"What?" Harry asks confusedly. 

"I hear things about Zayn. And I know you'll think it's biased considering that Zayn is my crew's enemy. But... I wouldn't be too surprised if the things I hear were true." Louis purses his lips.

"What kind of things?"

"From what I hear, Zayn's one hell of a liar. Probably good enough to pass a lie detector test without actually telling the truth." Louis laughs breathlessly, no humor in his tone.

"What are you trying to imply?" Harry furrows his brows.

"Harry, just because Zayn is the leader of an anti-cartel association, doesn't mean he's a good character." Louis shrugs. 

"I don't believe that. Of course _you_ think that because he's _your_ enemy. He's my best mate. I trust him with everything." Harry says defensibly. 

Louis sighs. "I'm not going to argue about this with you. It's pointless and besides, I'm sure if you talk to Zayn he'll have a lot of bad things to say about me." And Louis does have a point, it's like Harry's stuck between two different worlds with their own view on things.

"You're right, let's just drop it." Harry says, and Louis gives a content smile.

"I love you Curly." Louis reminds him.

"I love you too Lou."

 

_I love you so much I'm willing to believe you over my best friend._

 

_But is that the right thing to do?_


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* just a couple more chapters to go.

It's not that Harry was panicking. And okay, only a _little_. But he had every right to.

There has never been a day where Louis didn't show up at his house but when he doesn't, he always calls or texts Harry beforehand. So yes, it worried Harry that Louis wasn't answering his phone or texts. 

Who knows, maybe he got caught up at work and left his phone at home or something. It can happen right? 

Whatever the reason is, Harry can't stop worrying and absolutely can't stop the terrible thoughts that go through his mind. He needs to get some sort of contact with Louis to let him know that he's alright. Or at least, get his mind off him. 

He decides to give Niall a visit, considering that they've been talking about hanging out soon. And perhaps Niall might know where Louis is at.

"Hey lad!" Niall greets Harry with a huge hug. 

"Hey Niall." Harry smiles. 

"Come in!" Harry follows him inside, taking a seat on the same couch he sat on the last time he was here.

"Where's the Tommo?" Niall asks curiously. 

"Who?" Harry raises an eyebrow in confusion.

"Tommo. Tomlinson." He smiles.

"Actually, that's why I came here. I thought you might've known where he was." Harry explains.

Niall shakes his head. "Nope. Not a clue."

Harry stare blankly at Niall. He opens his mouth to say something, and closes it again. 

"Did you know?" Harry asks suddenly. 

"About what? I know a lot of things." Niall grins. 

"About Louis' ex-boyfriend." 

"Oh! That he was involved in a drug cartel?" Niall asks nonchalantly, as if it was the most usual thing in the world.

"So you knew." Harry states.

"Of course. That was the first thing Louis told me about him. At the time I freaked out about it, calling Louis crazy for getting involved with someone like him." Niall frowns. "But he wouldn't listen and I let him. I let him move out with that arsehole."

Harry sighs. "Was he a bad guy? Did you ever like... meet him?"

"Yeh, he came a couple times to take Louis out on dates. He was a proper gentleman. I liked him, but I didn't like what he was involved in." A spark of jealously lights up in Harry at the idea of someone else taking Louis out on dates. 

"Everything was good for a while, until one day Louis came to me crying his eyes out." Niall continues. 

Harry grips the sofa cushion. "Why?" He croaks out.

"He had the suspicion that Aaron was cheating on him. He would notice he smelled differently. Like _someone else_ , he said. He'd spot faint love bites over his neck. I told Louis many times-"

"Wait so Aaron cheated on him? Louis told me that the reason he left Aaron was because he became more aggressive." Harry interrupts.

"Yeah, _that_ was the reason. Even after Louis suspected that Aaron had been cheating, he still stuck with him. It wasn't till a couple weeks after that Aaron became aggressive. Now _that's_ when Louis decided that it was enough." He explains.

Harry rubs his face roughly, trying to avoid the the fact that he hates someone who's already dead. He wishes he can go back to the day he killed him, and make him suffer more. 

"Jesus Christ, I swear if I ever had the chance, I'd _kill_ him." Harry spits ironically.

"Don't worry about that, someone else did it for you." Niall laughs.

Harry debates on whether or not to tell Niall the truth. 

"Niall I-" His voice is cut off by his phone ringing. He pulls it out of his pocket and it reads ' _Zayn_ '.

"Sorry, I have to take this." Harry tells him and Niall waves him off.

He steps outside, answering. 

"Hey." Harry lets out a shaky breath.

"I want to talk to you today. Come over to my house. Do you have time?" Zayn asks. He sounds different, cold. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." He says. 

"Alright well see you in a while." And he clicks. 

Harry walks back inside, spotting Niall staring at him curiously.

"Louis?" Niall asks.

"I wish. It was a... Friend. I have to go meet him." Harry points to the door.

"It's alright! I'll talk to you soon yeah? Take care of yourself." Niall smiles kindly, and Harry wishes that everybody was more like Niall.

 

The drive to Zayn's house is nerve-wracking, not really knowing what to expect. 

He walks to the front door, knocking a couple times before hearing Zayn's voice call from inside.

"Come in, I'm in the living room!" 

Harry opens the door, walking in quietly and heading over to the living room. The minute he spots Zayn, his blood goes cold and he gasps loudly. 

 _"Lou."_ He manages to say, watching Zayn point the gun at Louis' head. 

Louis is tied down to a chair, mouth stuffed with a cloth, unable to speak. He looks sad and tired, eyes red.

Harry doesn't move, afraid that any step he takes leads Zayn to pull the trigger. Louis _can't_ die. 

 _This_   _isn't happening._

_No no no._

"Hi Harry. You made it." 


	13. Chapter 13

Zayn's eyes are intently fixed on Harry's and Harry feels a heavy feeling in his chest, something between fear and apprehension.

Out of all the years he’s known Zayn, he’s never actually seen this side of him before. It’s like he can’t even recognize his own friend.

"Zayn, you don't have to do this." Harry pleads with a broken voice.

Zayn huffs out a breath, rubbing a tired hand over his face. "Do you have any fucking idea how hard it's been for me Harry? Do you even have the slightest clue on what's been going on around you?" Zayn asks, and Harry stares at him confusedly.

Harry doesn't answer, or even _move._ At this point, he thinks breathing could set Zayn off.

The air is heavy around them as the day starts to darken outside. Harry feels like he’s suffocating with anxiety, breathing harshly. He briefly wonders if this all could’ve been avoided, if this is _his_ fault.

"You're supposed to be my best mate yeah? You’re supposed to be there to understand me and my decisions." Zayn says, expression despondent in a way Harry's never seen before. Harry doesn't have an actual idea as to what Zayn is speaking of, or what any of this has to do with Louis or himself.

"Zayn you know I've always been there for you-"

"Bullshit!" Zayn yells, pointing the gun at Harry. He takes a quick step back, holding his hands up in the air. "That's bullshit. You weren't there when I needed you the most.” He sounds broken, drowned with emotion. “You let me take matters into my own fucking hands." Zayn says, running a hand through his hair roughly. He looks as if he's about to cry.

"Zayn. Please tell me what this is all about." Harry says lowly, swallowing hard. Zayn turns back to Louis, pulling the cloth roughly out of Louis' mouth.

“Okay, you want an explanation? I’ll give you one. Even though you don’t deserve it.” Zayn tells him. It hurts; it hurts to witness how brutal Zayn is being towards him. But Harry just wants to understand. He wants to comprehend what is going on in Zayn’s mind, what led him to take the love of Harry’s life hostage.

“You see, ever since you crossed paths with him-” he points at Louis “- you’ve lost all interest in me and your job. Harry for fucks sake, you disappeared for four. Damn. Months. No fucking explanation, no reason, nothing. How do you think I felt?” And Harry feels like absolute shit and a horrible friend because it’s true. He didn’t even bother to care about Zayn.

These past months have all been _Louis Louis Louis_ and not once did he ever think about Zayn. But he’s changed, and he knows that. Harry knows that he’s a whole new person. He hadn’t once thought about killing since he and Louis became official. Louis changed him, made him a better person, and it’s strange because Louis himself isn’t exactly a saint. But Louis is a good person, and that’s all that matters.

“I’m sorry Zayn. I truly am.” Harry sobs, closing his eyes.

“You’re not. You know you aren’t.” He says coldly. Harry hears Louis scoff and finds him rolling his eyes the way he does when he’s annoyed.

"Oh please.” Louis laughs humorlessly. “You’re such a fucking asshole." Louis spits at Zayn.

Something inside Zayn lights up, lifting an unexpected fist and punching Louis straight in the jaw.

"Louis." Harry gasps, shaking hard. He feels lightheaded and weak; he can't bear to see this. 

Louis laughs though, as blood drops out of his mouth. "You're a sick fuck Zayn. No one’s ever going to care about someone like you. You _deserve_ to be left alone." Louis tells him, and Zayn hits him with the gun this time. The hard metal meets Louis’ cheek hard, causing him to grunt in pain and draw more blood.

"Zayn stop it!" Harry yells, grabbing Zayn's arm roughly. Zayn shoves him away, keeping his eyes on Louis.

"Why don't you tell Harry, Zayn? He _is_ your best mate." Louis says and Harry is left puzzled. "He deserves to know the truth." Zayn visibly tenses at Louis’ words.

"What?" Harry croaks out, unable to stop shaking.

"Nothing." Zayn growls.

"About Liam." Louis says coldly, keeping his eyes on Zayn. Zayn drops the gun, sitting back against the sofa and hiding his face in his hands. Zayn shakes, soft sobs escaping his lips.

Harry feels nauseous, feeling afraid of what he's about to find out. He shouldn’t even be here; he should be back at home with Louis cuddling with him on the sofa. He should be talking to him about future plans and dreams. He should be out doing something that doesn’t involve his best friend and boyfriend hurting each other like this.

"I'm sure Liam was such a sweet person. Someone who didn't deserve to die so young." Louis starts, watching the way Zayn cried harder. "Especially the way he did. Stabbed. 16 times. Or was it 17, Zayn?"

"Just stop." Zayn yells, rising to his feet abruptly. "Just fucking stop it." His eyes are red from crying and he looks remorseful. "I'm so fucking sorry." He cries out.

"No you're not." Louis says sternly. "You're sick. You killed Liam because he didn't feel the same way about you. Who fucking does that?"

Harry gasps loudly, staring at Zayn in horror. " _You_ killed him?"

Zayn looks at him sadly, shaking his head. "It was a mistake Harry. It was out of anger. The day we went out to the bar I confessed to him and he... he fucking rejected me. I was so broken Harry, you don't understand." Zayn confesses, tears running down his cheeks.

"So you killed him? That was your solution?" Harry retorts.

"You weren't fucking there for me Harry! You were too busy screwing him and being all loved up." Zayn says mockingly.

"That's no fucking excuse!" Harry's voice is loud, even too loud for him. Louis looks up in shock, he's never witnessed his boyfriend this angry before.

"I know." Zayn finally tells him. "I messed up."

Harry sighs, watching Louis wince in pain and the blood and dark mark painted across his face. "Please let Louis go Zayn. He doesn't deserve this." Harry's voice is much quieter.

Zayn wipes his eyes, staring down at the ground. "He took my best friend. He took you away from me." Zayn cries.

Harry panics again, unable to figure out what to do. "So now he has to die." Zayn grabs his gun, clicking it and pointing it at Louis' head.

Harry quickly goes over to Zayn and tackles him roughly, trying to take the gun from his hands. Zayn falls onto his back, refusing to let go of the gun.

“Harry what the fuck!” Zayn yells, trying to push Harry off of him. Harry reaches for the gun over Zayn’s head desperately as Zayn shoves him away.

“I’m not letting you do this.” Harry says furiously, and then Zayn brings the gun down and pulls the trigger.

The loud noise echoes loudly in the room, and then it’s quiet.

Harry freezes, and Zayn’s eyes go wide in realization of what he’s done.

He shoves Harry off of him, scurrying to his feet.

“Harry!” Louis cries in desperation, eyes prickling with tears. “Look what you’ve done!” He yells harshly at Zayn, voice cracking.

Zayn stares at Harry’s bloody abdomen, before mumbling a soft sorry and running out the door.

Harry moans in pain, pressing a hand over his wound. He doesn’t dare to look down at it; he can already imagine how bloody it looks. He slowly looks over at Louis, wincing at the pain on his lower abdomen.

Louis grunts as he continues to pull on the rope, until he _finally_ frees himself. He quickly unties the rope from his legs and reaches over to Harry.

“Curly, stay with me now.” He pleads, holding him against his lap. He’s crying now, and Harry’s heart sinks.

He closes his eyes, fatigue and pain attacking his body. He feels weak, and his wound won’t stop bleeding.

“Harry, open your eyes. _Please_.” He hears Louis say, but he sounds so far away. He opens his eyes slowly, finding it hard to focus on Louis’ face. He can make out the bruise forming on Louis’ face, his blue eyes staring sadly at him, he’s so beautiful.

Then suddenly Harry’s vision begins to get darker, and he can’t quite hear Louis’ voice clearly.

“Lou.” Harry croaks out weakly, right as his body gives up on him and everything goes black.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so hard to write without feeling emotionally unstable.

Harry wakes up in a white room that's too bright for his eyes. It takes him a while to open them completely, staring blankly at the big wall in front of him. He hears the continuous beeping sound coming from a monitor, and that's when he realizes he's in a hospital.

He looks over to his right side, and sees Louis sleeping soundly in a chair, his lip covered in small stiches. Then, Harry remembers it all.

Zayn is the reason why he's in the hospital. Zayn is the reason why Louis' face is bruised and why he has stiches.

_Zayn is the reason why Liam is dead._

Harry suddenly feels sick to his stomach and he's finding it hard to breathe.

He clutches onto his chest, trying to catch his breath miserably. The monitor races in sync with his heart beat. Then Louis wakes up at the sound, eyes wide as he begins to panic.

He quickly gets up, reaching over to Harry. "Harry what's wrong baby? Nurse! Nurse!" Louis yells at the door, eyes filling with tears. "Harry, stay calm."

A lady in white rushes inside, walking over directly to Harry. She immediately places a mask over Harry's nose and mouth, and Harry has never felt more relieved.

He feels himself catching his breath, trying to even it out.

"Relax. You're okay. Seems to me it was only a panic attack." She gives him a small smile.

"Thank you." Louis says softly, before the nurse gives him a small nod and exits out the door.

Harry takes a deep breath, looking over at Louis. He looks tired and worn out _,_ but nevertheless beautiful as the day Harry first saw him.

Louis takes a seat back in his chair, sighing quietly. He looks down at his feet, biting his bottom lip as if he's holding back tears.

"You don't know how glad I am that you're okay." Louis breaks the silence. His voice sounds broken and small, and Harry thinks he's never seen Louis so vulnerable like this. "I thought I had lost you Harry. I-" A tear falls down Louis' cheek.

"Lou." Harry says hoarsely.

"No Harry. You don't understand. When you passed out, you looked so _lifeless_. You were pale and for a moment I thought you weren't breathing anymore. I thought you had left me." Louis cuts him off, tears spilling down carelessly. "I don't know what I would've done without you Curly. I would've probably gone crazy." He laughs humorlessly.

"But I'm here Lou. I didn't leave you." Harry assures him. He reaches over to Louis, feeling a faint ache on his left side. He takes Louis' hand in his own, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it.

"I love you so much." Louis smiles, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his sweater.

"I love you too." Harry whispers, like he's telling a secret. "How did you get me here?" He asks him.

Louis sighs. "I called Niall immediately and fortunately he was able to make it within minutes. He helped me take you to the hospital. You've been in here for a little over a day." Louis explains.

"What did you tell them?" Harry wonders if Louis told them the truth.

"I told them we were mugged by some blokes on the street. They believed it. You and I both know I wouldn't out Zayn." _Even though he deserves it_ , is left unsaid.

"When I get out of here, I need to go look for Zayn." Harry states, and Louis frowns.

"No. You're not doing that." Louis says sternly.

"Why not?"

"Because it's dangerous Harry. I thought that was pretty obvious?" Louis tells him. Harry rolls his eyes, breathing out a laugh.

"I've been living with danger for years, Lou. Getting shot doesn't make any difference for me." Harry retorts.

Louis stands up from the chair abruptly. "I don't want to lose you. I don't want to watch you get buried six feet underground like Liam was, do you understand?" He says sadly. Harry watches him break, bursting into tears. "I felt guilty the moment I thought I lost you. I thought I had failed you as a best friend and a boyfriend. I should've protected you. But I didn't. It's my fucking fault you're in this god forsaken hospital." Louis confesses, burying his face in his sleeves.

"But Lou, I'm fine. If it weren't for you bringing me here, I wouldn't have made it. I'm more than happy for what you've done for me these past months we've been together. You made me a better person without realizing it. You _saved_ me." Harry finishes, and Louis looks up at him with big blue eyes.

"You... you mean that?" Louis asks softly.

"With all my heart. You make me strong." He smiles, and Louis presses forward, kissing him hard and passionately. It doesn't last though, because Louis is then giggling between the kiss.

"God Curly, you're too much." Louis breathes hazily. Harry kisses him again, ignoring the pain on his side.

 

He leaves the hospital the next day, and Louis made sure to be by Harry's side at all times. He drives them to Louis' flat, just incase Zayn is on the look out for them.

"You're going to stay with me until this whole situation dies down." Louis informs him, but Harry brings a hand to interject.

"Louis, I know Zayn. I just need to talk to him and we can sort things out-"

"I told you already Harry. We're not getting you into any more danger." Louis sighs.

"This isn't about danger anymore. This is about us." Harry grabs both of Louis' shoulders. "Look at me." Louis looks up at him. "We've been through so much together already, and I'm willing to take risks for us. If taking another bullet is a risk I have to take then I'll do it. But please, _let me_."

Louis buries his face in Harry's chest, nodding slowly. "Okay Harry. Okay fine." He breathes out. "Where do you think he is now?"

Harry smirks, sitting down on the couch. "The cottage. He always went there every time he had emotional problems to deal with." He explains.

"Emotional problems?"

"I don't know if you've noticed but Zayn has anger problems. He has trouble controlling it. He used to take medication for it but stopped almost a year ago." Harry frowns, wondering if anger took over Zayn the moment he killed Liam.

Louis nods in understanding. "Where is this cottage?"

"It's down the bridge actually. It's an abandoned cottage, or at least that's what everyone thinks." Harry gets up slowly, still recovering from his injury. "I'm gonna go now. The quicker, the better." He grabs the car keys, but then Louis is stopping him.

Louis holds out a gun at Harry. "Are you sure you don't need this?"

"No. I think I just need some talking." Louis gives him a kiss on the lips, then waves him off.

"Be careful Curly. I love you." Louis smiles.

"I love you too."

 

When Harry gets to the cottage, he sends Louis a quick text to let him know he's there. Louis doesn't respond, but Harry doesn't question it.

Surprisingly, the door is unlocked, and Harry opens it slowly.

And as expected, Zayn is there, except not the way he thought he'd be.

There's two empty bottles of whiskey along with a gun on the table, and a very drunk and crying Zayn on the couch.

He looks up at Harry with angry eyes, but remains silent.

Harry can't help the way his heart beats against his chest like crazy. "H-hi."

"What do you want from me?" Zayn asks, voice low and terrifying.

"I came to talk to you-"

"About what?" Zayn cuts him off, like he's running out of time.

"About everything. About what happened the other day. About you killing Liam and why." Harry says slowly.

Zayn laughs bitterly, taking a drink from the glass cup that's filled with alcohol. "You want to know what happened between me and Liam? I'll tell you then." He slurs.

 

_*Flashback*_

_Zayn decided to go out for drinks with Liam and Harry, taking the opportunity to talk to Liam and spend some quality time with him._

_Three drinks in and Liam doesn't even dare to look at him. He occasionally makes small talk but physically avoids Zayn. He rather be talking to a pretty brunette that keeps sending flirty stares. And yes, Zayn is jealous but there's nothing he can do._

_And where the fuck is Harry?  
_ _He spots Harry at the bar, chatting up a feathery brown haired man. Zayn sighs, feeling slightly pathetic. He has the man of his life in front of him but he can't even get him to look at him._

_Liam looks absolutely irresistible, Zayn thinks. He's wearing a leathered jacket, and his hair is perfectly styled. Not to mention how kissable his lips look._

_The urge to kiss Liam is unavoidable. And Zayn vaguely wonders if he should take the chance or not._

_Zayn decides to take the chance, because why not? He leans forward, putting a hand against Liam's cheek and kissing him. His lips are soft and perfect, just like he imagined. Except there's one problem, Liam isn't kissing back._

_"Why are you like this?" Zayn pushes back, and Liam looks at him confusedly. He doesn't know where this is all coming from. Maybe it's the alcohol._

_"What are you talking about?"_

_Zayn stand up from his chair furiously. "Are you fucking blind? Is it that hard to see?"_

_"See what?" Liam looks afraid, not moving a muscle._

_"That I'm fucking in love with you? That I've tried so hard to get you to notice me but it seems that I'm fucking invisible to you." Zayn slams his drink on the table loudly, causing a few to stare._

_Liam sighs. "Zayn, I have a boyfriend." And that's all it takes to make Zayn's heart stop._

_He feels like he's on the verge of tears. All these months of dreaming and thinking he had a chance with Liam were a waste. All of his hope has been shattered._

_"W-what?" Zayn tries so hard not to cry, feeling embarrassed._

_"I get that you didn't know. Harry doesn't know either. I've been keeping him a secret but... I think he's really the one." Liam smiles. "But believe me when I say that this isn't about you. It's nothing personal Zayn." Bullshit. It's all bullshit._

_"You're a fucking asshole." Zayn yells. "I hate you. Fuck I-" And the tears spill, one by one._

_"Zayn, I know how bad this must be but please hear me out-"_

_"No. You have no fucking clue how I feel. Go fuck yourself Liam. You're gonna regret this." Zayn walks away quickly, despite Liam's pleads._

_He pushes past the crowd of horny people, and catches Harry dancing filthily with the same brown haired man he was talking to earlier. He quickly gets into his car, driving back home._

_And that's when Zayn planned it all out. If he wasn't able to have Liam, no one was. Liam is stupid, Zayn thinks. He deserves this, he deserves to feel the pain he made Zayn feel. He deserves to feel the horrible and indescribable feeling Zayn felt. He deserves to die._

_*EOF*_

"You didn't have to kill him Zayn." Harry says softly.

"Don't you tell me what the fuck I didn't have to do. You don't know anything." Zayn trips over his words, alcohol taking over him.

"You still have a chance though. You still have a chance to love and be loved." Harry tells him, hoping that Zayn will take his words into consideration.

"Your words don't mean shit to me Harry. Not anymore. You're lucky, you know? You have Louis to love you and be there for you whenever the fuck you want. And what do I have?" He yells.

Harry stays quiet.

"What the fuck do I have? Huh?" He repeats. "That's right. Nothing. I don't have anything. I don't have a reason anymore." Zayn laughs roughly. "I'm so fucking pathetic. No wonder Liam didn't want shit to do with me." He laughs. Zayn grabs the gun from the table, playing with it.

"Zayn." Harry warns.

"What? You think I'm gonna kill you?" He laughs again. "Are you afraid of me Harry?"

"This isn't you Zayn. This isn't my best friend."

"Fuck you Harry. The minute you walked out of my life you stopped being my best friend." Zayn spits, standing up on wobbly legs.

"I didn't walk out though. I'm here aren't I?" Harry explains.

"And what good does that do to me? You're just here reminding me of the pain I suffered. I much rather want you gone." He says. Zayn looks down at his gun before looking up at Harry wickedly. _"I much rather want you gone."_ Zayn repeats, pointing the gun at Harry slowly.

And well, this didn't turn out the way he expected.

Harry closes his eyes shut, feeling like he somehow let Zayn and Louis down. If Harry dies today, there's no point in anything anymore. It's over for him. No more Louis, no more love, no more life. He should've listened to Louis the minute he says that this wasn't a good idea. Harry is an idiot.

As Harry lets out a soft sob, the sound of a gun goes off, filling the quiet cottage. Then another.

Harry opens his eyes widely, and realizes that he hasn't been shot. But Zayn has.

Zayn drops the gun onto the ground as his body collapses onto the floor. Harry turns around and sees Louis by the door, holding a gun. Louis shot Zayn. Louis saved Harry.

Harry gets overwhelmed, dropping onto his knees, and crying loudly. Louis immediately goes over to him, rubbing his back soothingly.

"It's okay love. It's all going to be okay." Louis whispers, kissing Harry behind the ear. Harry continues to cry, his body quivering. He turns over to see Zayn's lifeless body on the floor, head bleeding.

Harry shuts his eyes, wanting nothing but to erase that image from his head. He buries his face in Louis' neck, sobbing continuously. Louis continues to murmur soft words into Harry's ear, but everything is just a blur.

"Let's go home." He hears Louis say, and Harry has never been more grateful than now. He's never felt more loved by Louis than now. And he just can't stop crying.


	15. Chapter 15

Harry didn't get out of bed for almost a week but to his fortune, he always had Louis by his side.

And it was comforting. He felt safe and protected. 

Zayn's body was found that very day he was killed by one of the association members, John. Zayn's family was informed of the incident and they decided to cremate him and have a small gathering. Harry didn't attend because he felt unstable, but he knew that Zayn would've understood.

The police concluded that Zayn's death was some sort of suicide. The amount of alcohol they found in his system was overwhelming, and along with his anger issues, it only seemed like so.

Harry didn't hold anger against Louis for what happened with Zayn. Maybe it was meant to happen, but of course the situation could've been dealt with in a different way. Obviously, with a _very_ furious and drunk Zayn that was nearly impossible. And Harry tried. He really did. He wishes he could start over with Zayn. 

But what can wishes offer?

 

He's laying in bed for the fifth day in a row, Louis just fresh out of the shower. He's watching some random show on television, until he hears an unexpected knock on the door.

Harry's confused because one, he wasn't expecting anyone over. And two, he has absolutely no idea who it could possibly be. Unless maybe it's Niall.

"I'll get it." Louis yells from a distance, and Harry lets him take care of it. 

It's quiet for a moment, but he can hear the faint voice of a woman. So it can't be Niall.

Louis walks into Harry's room slowly, expression hard to read.

"Harry, there's a lady at the door for you." Louis says softly. Harry gets up from his bed tiredly, as he makes his way to the door puzzled. 

He opens the door and he's met with a woman. 

Except...

"Mum?" Harry breathes out shakily. It's his mum. The same person who loved and cherished him with all her heart. The same person he ran away from because his stepdad was a cunt.

"Harry." She says, tears spilling. She pulls him in for a hug, holding onto him tightly. He hasn't received a hug from her in years, and Harry feels a little overwhelmed. He grunts a little, his wound in the process of recovering. "What's wrong baby? Did I hurt you?" She pulls back, worry written all over her face.

"No mum." He laughs breathlessly. "Come in." His mum walks into his house, taking in the atmosphere of the room. 

Harry gestures her to the couch as she takes a seat, smiling widely. It's stranger and very unexpected, Harry thinks, to have his mum here.

"Want anything to drink? Water? Tea?" Harry offers.

She shakes her head. "No, I just. I came to talk to you." 

Harry can't help but feel worried, taking the seat across from her. He takes in her features, and he notices his mum looks older. And tired, like she's been under some stress recently.

"I divorced Robin." She says, and Harry takes a sigh of relief. "I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore." Her voice breaks. Harry rushes over to her, hugging her tightly. 

"I'm so sorry mum. I didn't like the guy to begin with." He confesses, but it wasn't a secret. His mum was very well aware that Robin was the reason why Harry left. Yet, she never did anything about it. 

"I know baby. I know and I'm sorry. I should've stopped you from walking out the door." She cries. "It was my fault." 

"No mum. It wasn't your fault, it was Robin's. I love you, you're a great mum. You should know that." Harry kisses her cheek.

She laughs, smiling widely. "God Harry. Sometimes I forget you're not that 16 year old boy anymore. You're so grown up." Harry smiles, blushing lightly.

"Well mum, it's been about 9 years hasn't it?" She sighs tiredly, nodding slightly. "How'd you find me anyway?" 

"It took me a while, but eventually I found an old friend of yours that you still kept contact with. Michael, remember?" Harry nods. He kept short contact with Michael considering Michael was one of his best friends all throughout grade school. Occasionally Michael still sends a text here and there, simply asking Harry how he's been and what he's been up to. "So I came here on my own." His mum finishes.

"How long are you staying in London for?" He asks.

"I'm not, actually." She tells him. 

"Bummer. You're welcomed to stay here for as long as you like though." Harry offers her, smiling fondly.

"Thank you Harry. I love you so much." She says, kissing his forehead. 

Louis emerges from Harry's room, smiling awkwardly at both of them.

Harry gets up from the couch, walking over to Louis.

"Mum, this is Louis, my boyfriend. Louis, this is my mum." He introduces, as Louis reaches to shake her hand.

She pulls him in for an unexpected hug instead, as Louis laughs in surprise.

She pulls back, smirking at Louis. 

"I always knew Harry had good taste in men." She says, causing Louis to blush.

"Mum!" He whines in embarrassment. She winks at him causing Harry to pout.

"It's nice to meet you Louis, I'm Anne." She tells him.

"Nice to meet you too Anne." He returns.

Something in Harry's heart warms up, watching his mum and boyfriend interact.

"We should go out, if you'd like?" Louis suggests. Harry and Anne exchange looks, before nodding in agreement.

They all decided on going out to dinner at a nearby restaurant. 

Anne talks about what life was like after Harry left at such a young age, and a part of Harry feels bad. But he knows he made the right choice. She also wonders how Louis and Harry met, and Harry embarrassingly tells her he met Louis in a club. Anne rolls her eyes fondly, getting the idea. 

Harry witnesses the way Louis and his mum get along well, and it brings Harry to a certain realization.

Louis is _the one_. 

Its not like he didn't know already, he just never really thought about it thoroughly. He always knew Louis was going to be his forever. And he cant wait for the day that it's official.

The rest of the day is spent sightseeing, showing Anne the beautiful parts of London. 

"I might consider moving here one day." She teases, and Harry grins.

"You should. That way I can get see you more often." He smiles, pulling her in for a hug. 

"It's getting late, and I have to go. Do you two mind driving me to the train station?" She asks. 

"Sure, no problem." Louis says sincerely.

They arrive at the station just in time for Anne's train. She gives each of them a kiss and a hug, hugging Harry tightly with all her life.

"Don't forget that I love you Harry. And also, try to keep Louis. He's a very nice young man, and I can tell he makes you happy." She whispers in his ear, pulling apart and getting into the train.

Harry can't stop the tears from his eyes as he watches his mum go off, feeling slightly sad that they had to part so soon. Louis puts a comforting hand on his lower back, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Come on Harry. This isn't a goodbye forever." He says, intertwining their hands.

"I know." Harry whispers, giving Louis a watery smile.

 

Once they get back to Harry's house, Louis looks a little off. Like he's been holding something back.

He watches the way Louis fiddles with his fingers nervously, avoiding eye contact with Harry.

Harry knows Louis' body language very well by now. He can tell when Louis is uncomfortable by the way he tries to avoid speaking. He can even tell when Louis is horny, he gets all clingy and desperate for attention.

"Hey Lou, is something wrong?" Harry asks, coming up from behind Louis and wrapping his arms around his slim waist. Louis leans back into the touch, sighing deeply.

"I resigned from being leader of the cartel the day you were hospitalized." He says, biting the inside of his cheek.

"You... you did? Why?" Harry asks quietly, pulling Louis closer and resting his head on his shoulder.

"I didn't want to be involved with that anymore. I came to a realization that it's all not worth it. And besides, I made Oli head of the cartel. I trust him with my life." Louis assures him, and Harry feels extremely relieved.

"I'm so glad Lou. We can... we can finally be together at peace. We don't have to worry about anything anymore." Harry says joyously, spinning Louis around and kissing him passionately. Louis giggles, hiding his face in Harry's chest.

"Move in with me." He breathes out. Harry instantly freezes, pulling Louis back to look him in the eyes.

"What?" He whispers.

"Move in with me." Louis repeats. "I know we haven't been together for so long but... I don't know Harry. I love you so damn much. I know this is forever. This is the real deal." Harry beams at his words, before he's nodding in acceptance and attacking Louis with kisses.

"I love you Louis. And I'll love you till the day I die." Harry tells him, kissing his cheek.

"Mm, I'd much rather you continue to love me even in the afterlife." Louis smirks.

 

 

Time flies by quicker than anyone thought it could. Louis and Harry have been together for over a year, and even Harry himself can't believe it's been so long.

It seems like just yesterday a cute brunette caught his attention at the bar, giving him excruciatingly sexual stares. It's crazy, Harry thinks. He and Louis had been through so much to get to where they were now, _alive._ It's as if fate had been purposely throwing obstacles at them, a sort of way to prove that they were meant to be together.

But they proved it, they truly and indefinitely proved that they were meant for each other. And no one in the world can say otherwise. Harry likes to think that in any other universe, he and Louis would somehow end up being together. Whether if it was Louis working at a coffee shop or Harry being some kind of celebrity, fate would find a way to make them cross paths. They were made for each other, and any person with eyes can see that they complement each other well.

 

Harry arrived at their flat from the tattoo shop, feeling tired. He finds Louis on the couch with the laptop over his lap, and his glasses on. He looks sexy in them, Harry's always thought. He once had Louis ride him in nothing but his glasses and Harry had almost came _just_ from the sight.

"Hey babe." Louis smiles at Harry's voice, looking up from the screen.

"Hi." Louis chirps, setting the laptop aside and sliding off his glasses. He walks over to Harry, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. "Since you're off tomorrow, I wanted to take you out to dinner. I already made reservations." Louis tells him.

Harry smiles, feeling slightly dazed. "Dinner? Where to?"

"Remember the first restaurant I took you to?" And of course Harry remembers. That was the first night Harry and Louis ever fucked. It was a very _unforgettable_ night.

"How could I forget?" He smirks, and Louis gives him a smack on the bum teasingly.

"Alrighty then, it's official. We're going out for dinner tomorrow." Louis says before walking up the stairs and disappearing into the bathroom. Harry sighs tiredly, as he looks down at his anchor tattoo and smiling softly at it.

He got his tattoo with Louis a month ago, who got the rope to match. It was just a way to express their never-ending love, and as sappy as that may sound, it was true. The idea came from Harry, actually Ed had suggested (Louis doesn't have to know.) It didn't take long to convince Louis, getting it almost immediately after telling him. They both left the tattoo shop giggly and smiley, unable to keep their hands off each other.

Harry takes off his shoes, walking up into the bedroom. He taking off the rest of his clothes, except his boxers, and slips into bed. He looks up at the ceiling, hearing the running water from the bathroom in the distance. He closes his eyes, fatigue taking over his body. Until he falls into a deep sleep. 

 

That night, Harry dreams of a little baby girl, who looks an awful lot like Louis. Same blue eyes and brown hair. He sees Louis cradling her carefully in his arms, swaying her side by side. Louis looks up at Harry, eyes filled with fond. He walks closer to both of them slowly, and then the baby starts crying.

"She wants you Harry." Louis tells him, handing the small, fragile person to Harry.

He looks down at her, and she immediately stops crying. She looks up at Harry wide eyed, and she breaks into a smile, giggling softly.

Harry didn't realize he was crying until Louis swipes a finger over his damp cheek. "Our baby loves you, Curly."

 _Our_ baby.

 

Harry wakes up abruptly, chest heaving with every harsh breath. He turns to see Louis sleeping soundly by his side. It's bright outside, and Harry assumes it must be morning.

He doesn't go back to sleep again, unable to stop thinking about the baby in his dream.

Did that mean anything? Does Harry want a baby? Does Louis want a baby?  
  
Harry had talked it before with Louis, but never nothing serious or anything they took into consideration. It was always just a simple thought, something that was briefly mentioned. Of course Harry wanted kids, especially with Louis. But he wasn't sure if Louis wanted to. Maybe it was too early in their relationship, or perhaps Louis isn't ready to become a father.

Harry admires the way Louis sleeps beautifully until he finally stirs awake, cracking an eye open and smiling sleepily at Harry.

"Have you been watching me sleep?" Louis asks, voice groggy. Harry nods, smiling sheepishly. "Creep." Louis says, before kissing him.

Harry breaks their kiss apart, looking at Louis deep into his eyes.

"What's wrong babe?" Louis asks, concern lingering in his voice. He lifts a hand up on caress Harry's cheek softly.

"I had a dream, about us." Harry tells him, mouth hovering over Louis' jaw.

"Really? Did we have kinky sex?" Louis jokes, smirking filthily. Harry bites softly at the skin on Louis' jaw, causing him to whimper.

"No. It wasn't like that." Harry says, laughing. "We... we had a baby."

Louis freezes, staying quiet. But then he's beaming. "A baby?"

Harry smiles sheepishly, nodding. "Yeah... it was a girl. She looked just like you." Louis smiles so hard, crinkles form by his eyes. The one's Harry absolutely loves.

"I want a baby. I would... Fuck Harry, imagine? Us becoming parents?" Louis says, kissing Harry's cheek softly.

"I want one too Lou. That would-" he laughs breathlessly "- that would be the greatest thing ever."

"I promise you one day, that we will have a baby. And we'll love him or her with all our hearts." Louis says, and Harry feels overwhelmed, kissing Louis slow and passionately.

"I love you." He murmurs through the kiss, and Louis hums in response, tongue exploring ever inch of Harry's mouth.

Louis and Harry spend the rest of the morning snogging and blowing each other, until they recover from their orgasms and head over to the shower.

Harry makes breakfast, as usual, but nothing too heavy considering there's an impending dinner waiting ahead of them.

"So you never told me what the occasion was for." Harry says as they cuddle on the couch. Louis rests his hand on Harry's hip, giving it a small squeeze.

"Just. I want to spend more time with you. Something romantic." Louis tells him, leaving a small peck on Harry's temple.

"I find walks in the park romantic. Could've suggested that." Harry teases, burying his face in the crook of Louis' neck.

"I _could've_ , but I didn't. Sorry Curly, gotta live by my rules." Louis smirks, pinching Harry's hip again.

"I've always loved it when you call me that." Harry whispers, lips lingering over the skin on Louis' neck.

"What? Curly?"

Harry hums in response, closing his eyes, inhaling Louis' scent. He smells so intoxicatingly amazing, something he would describe as dark and heavy.

Louis kisses Harry's forehead, before standing abruptly. "Hey, we can go take that walk in the park and head to dinner after?" Louis suggests, and Harry's eyes light up even before he finishes talking.

And they do go, holding hands while they walk slowly side by side. Harry, being as clumsy as he is, accidentally trips over a fucking dog. Louis rolled his eyes fondly, watching Harry miserably try and apologize to it. It seems like the dog accepted his apology, licking his hand eagerly. The owner surprisingly wasn't angry, instead amused by the way Harry handled the whole situation.

The walk was great, that is, until they run into a familiar person.

"Harry?" The man approaches him, curiosity written over his face.

_Who is this man?_

Louis looks concernedly between the two, giving Harry a tight squeeze.

"I'm sorry, I don't seem to recognize you." Harry says, slightly frowning.

"Right, sorry. My mistake. I'm Henry." He introduces, extending out a hand towards Harry. "I was part of the execution group. You tutored me on my first year there." He says and then Harry remembers him.

Zayn had hired Henry from a mutual friend, and since Henry had experience with killing due to weekends of deer hunting, Zayn put him up to execute, just like Harry. The first couple weeks, Harry had to tutor all the new people, explaining to them the do's and don'ts of murder. He vaguely remembers Henry, recalls him being one of the quiet ones.

"I remember you now! Um, do you still... you know?" Harry asks awkwardly, it was strictly prohibited to speak of such things outside headquarters. And Harry still follows that rule, despite not working for the association anymore for over a year.

"Yes. And surprisingly I got moved up to head master. Isn't that great?" Henry says, smiling deeply.

"That's... great. I'm proud of you." Harry says genuinely. He tutored this kid, and it makes Harry feel slightly proud to know that someone he tutored had grown to be a head master.

"Thanks. Well, see you some other time." Henry dismisses, giving Louis a slight nod and walking off.

"What was that about?" Louis asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh... just... the past I guess." Harry tells him, smiling at Louis.

 

They arrive at the restaurant just in time, and their table is right in the center which is... kind of overwhelming if you ask Harry.

"I feel like everyone is going to be staring at us while we eat." Harry whispers, earning a soft laugh from Harry.

"Someone's being self-centered." Louis jokes, grinning.

When the waiter comes over, they order the same exact thing they ordered the first time. Harry can't help but feel so filled with emotion, and a part of him missing when he first met Louis. He feels nostalgic, and he isn't sure if that's possible when he has Louis sitting right across him.

They eat quietly, and Harry notices that Louis can't stop smiling, and that he looks a bit nervous. Then suddenly, Louis is standing from his chair, calling attention from everyone in the restaurant.

"Hello, everyone. Hope you're all having a nice dinner." Louis tells them all, and Harry is very confused. "I'm glad that you're all here today, because I really just need to let the world know this." He says, and Harry's heart stops beating.

Louis walks over to Harry's chair, and takes his hand onto his own. "Harry, when we first met, I didn't think I'd fall this hard for you. Hell, I never thought I'd fall this hard for anyone. You came into my life and turned it all around. You say I made you a better person when in reality, you did that for me. You've done so much for me, giving you my life isn't enough to repay you. But God, you and I know we've been though so much. We've fought for everything we have now. Despite our ups and downs and occasional disagreements on which color curtain looks better-" Harry laughs along with the crowd through his tears nervously, biting his bottom lip. "- I still love you. And I'll continue to love you through what may come in the future." Then Louis is getting on one knee, and the whole audience awes.

Harry gasps loudly, clasping a hand over his mouth as Louis takes out a box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a shiny silver ring.

"I would love more than anything to continue to share my life and my love with you Curly." Louis looks at Harry fondly, eyes shining. "Harry Styles, will you marry me?" Louis asks, voice cracking at his words. Harry nods almost immediately, bringing Louis in for a kiss. The audience claps loudly, and someone catcalls in the distance.

"Yes, yes. God, I..." Harry breathes out, as Louis slips in the ring on his finger, fitting perfectly. Harry looks up at Louis, and notices that he's crying too.

Louis pulls Harry in, hugging him with all he's got. "I love you so much Lou." Harry whispers onto Louis' neck.

"I love you too _... Curly."_

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated! Thanks for reading :)


End file.
